Major Twitzease Triggers Tempers: #politflammation...

An infuriating Twitzease is raging across the Twittersphere at this hour, according to researchers at the Center for Twitzease Control. Known as #politflammation, this extremely simple text mutation appears capable of transforming the most innocuous conversation into a bitter bout of incivility. Symptoms: Tweets are replied to or retweeted (with the TZT tag) and one of two words is inserted: “Repubs” or “Dems” Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #politflammation #ctwitzc Example: @exemplaryfelineadorer I don’t get why my kitty likes to go outside and play in puddles TZT @exemplaryfelineadorer I don’t get why Repubs like to go outside and play in puddles #politflammation...

Major Twizease Raises Incomprehension: #whadusay?...

A mind-scrambling and preternaturally obtuse Twitzease — dubbed #whadusay? — has been detected at the fringes of understanding, according to leading scientists from the Center for Twitzease Control. This appears to be a partner Twitzease, in which the Tweet is mutated and sent back to the original sender. Some clinics have reported back-and-forth exchanges of up to 5 or 6 rounds with this Twitzease. Symptoms: A Tweet is sent back to its sender — often political or entertainment figures — severely misunderstood and mangled, followed by the question #whadusay? Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #whadusay? #ctwitzc Example: Mariah Carey @mariahupdate: American Idol: Top 5 Take On Music’s Biggest Divas TZT @mariahupdate Americans idle, flop, 5 bake music’s baddest donuts #whadusay? #ctwitzc...

Major Malady: Tweet vs. Tweet in #mashup

The Center for Twitzease Control has documented several known cases of a rare Twitzease known as a #mashup. A leading scientist from the center, who wished to remain blameless, tells us that the Twitzease produces symptoms that range from “the pernicious to the delicious, the nefarious to the hilarious.” Symptoms: Two Tweets by two utterly unrelated Tweeters, often celebrities, are combined or “mashed up” together to form a single, mutant Tweet. Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #mashup #ctwitzc Example: @NICKIMINAJ: Not endorsing it. Own it @justinbieber: Just got this! Thank u Norway. Gonna be a great show tonight TZT @justinbieber & @NICKIMINAJ Not endorsing a great show tonight. Own u, Norway. #mashup...

Major, Contrarian #opposite Twitzease Strikes...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELIEF The Center for Twitzease Control is not receiving reports that a MAJOR Twitzease called “#opposite” is not infecting Tweets across a broad swath of Europe and North America. Two strains of #opposite have been identified. STRAIN ONE Symptoms: Tweets say the opposite of what the author is thinking Hashtags: #opposite #ctwitz Example: I have a great relationship, great roommates, great job! #opposite #ctwitzc STRAIN TWO Symptoms: Tweets are retweeted and converted into their opposite Retweet tag: TZT Hashtags: #opposite #ctwitz Example: @ryanseacrest:  Cannot wait for faturday to start TZT @ryanseacreast Can wait for faturday to start #opposite...

Bajor Dwidder Flu Oudbreag *koff* #twitflu #ctwitzc...

Sources report a MAJOR grammar- and spelling-resistant strain of Twitter flu spreading at this hour, particularly in the NE and SW USA. DIAGNOSIS OF THE TWITZEASE The Center for Twitzease Control has released the following statement: “Doze infegted wid the Dwidder Flu wride as tho they had a bonstrous head code sniff koff. To be the bona fide Dwidder Flu bessages bust condain the word “sniff” or “koff” ad leazd odce in each dweed. The signadure ha ha hatchoo! eggsguse me hashdag of the dwidder flue is #twitflu All Twidzeases use the hashdag #ctwitzc” Stay tuned for farther...