OH NO! CAP LOCKS STUCK #caplockstuck

The Center for Twitzease Control reports that an ancient, primitive and utterly annoying Twitzease, last officially documented early in the computer era, has resurfaced in the early hours of this morning among Twittizens of all ages — #caplockstuck Symptoms: Tweets are written in all capital letters, as though the author’s capital-letter-lock were stuck in the “on” position Hashtags: #caplockstuck #ctwitzc Example: CAN U BELIEVE ONE MORE SNOWSTORM THIS WEEK!? SORRY FOR SHOUTING #caplockstuck...

Beware! #paranormative inflames conspiracy fears...

The Center for Twitzease Control has strongly suspects it has discovered traces of a Twitzease, #paranormative,  that raises irrational fear to alarming levels. #paranormative appears to be primarily a re-Tweeting Twitzease. Symptoms: Tweets and retweets claim to see evidence of conspiracies and extra-terrestrial intervention on all sides Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #paranormative #ctwitzc Example: @katiecouric I’m headin to Hollywood! And taking @KatieShow with me! See who’s joining us! TZT @katiecouric Aliens are taking me to Hollywood! And taking @KathieShow for examination! #paranormative #ctwitzc...

Eau, neu! #mstranslate Spawns Linguistique Confusione...

The Center for Twitzease Control announced late this afternoon that a particularly illegible, dense and, to quote a spokesperson “mind-bending” strain of the #mstranslate Twitzease has appeared between Tierra del Fuego and Timbuktoo. Symptoms: Tweets are retweeted and mis-translated into garbled versions of various languages Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #mstranslate #ctwitzc Example: Si deseas estar informado a todo momento sobre el #RealMadrid,  esta es la cuenta a seguir. TZT Yes, these are informed toads, sober for the moment, in the Real city of Madrid, if you don’t count the sugar. #mstranslate #ctwitzc...

Bajor Dwidder Flu Oudbreag *koff* #twitflu #ctwitzc...

Sources report a MAJOR grammar- and spelling-resistant strain of Twitter flu spreading at this hour, particularly in the NE and SW USA. DIAGNOSIS OF THE TWITZEASE The Center for Twitzease Control has released the following statement: “Doze infegted wid the Dwidder Flu wride as tho they had a bonstrous head code sniff koff. To be the bona fide Dwidder Flu bessages bust condain the word “sniff” or “koff” ad leazd odce in each dweed. The signadure ha ha hatchoo! eggsguse me hashdag of the dwidder flue is #twitflu All Twidzeases use the hashdag #ctwitzc” Stay tuned for farther...

Lit-Bot Alert

The Center for Twitzease Control reports that the grapevine of its word-of-mouth radar has picked up the scent of potential Twitzease literary-bot activity. Report any bot-sformations immediately to the CTwitzC!