Steamy Twitzease #twinuendo Sees Romance Everywhere...

A swooning spokesperson for the Center for Twitzease Control clutched a bouquet of flowers from a secret admirer and announced that a Twitzease known as #twinuendo was spreading through the Twittersphere. “It’s like Valentine’s Day meets Fourth of July, only more mysterious,” s/he stated. Symptoms: Tweets are retweeted (with the TZT tag) with their contents mutated to imply primal amorous attraction Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #twinuendo #ctwitcz Example: @exemplarycatadorer Kitty has discovered yarn. Such hilarity! Such hi-jinks! TZT @exemplarycatadorer Kitty has fallen for yarn. Loving glances. Soft caresses. Hi-jinks. #twinuendo...

Vowel Diet? Vowel Shortage? Vowel Conservation? #-vwls...

[Update 4/19] The Center for Twitzease Control reported this morning that a sudden diminution in the global percentage of Tweeted vowels began to occur in places as disparate as Gdansk, Poland, rural regions of Egypt and Kyzyl-Kiva, Kyrgyzstan. Researchers at the CTwitzC are mystified as to the method and motivation of the Twitzease’s spread, citing theories as disparate as vowel dieting, vowel conservation or perhaps an as yet unnoticed worldwide vwel shrtage. Symptoms: All vowels are removed from a tweet. Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #mnsvwls #ctwitzc Example: Wh wnts t g fr ccktls ftr wrk? #mnsvwls...

Whoz a kewt widdle Twitseaze? U R! #bbtalk...

Embarrassed reports from people worldwide conducting important business with clients, professional peers, and attempting serious communication about intimate relationships confirm an outbreak of the Twitzease #bbtalk. Symptoms: Cloying and annoying phonetic babytalk Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #bbtalk #ctwitzc Example: Pwease come by our office to put a eensy teensy signature on your contwact. Pwetty pwease? #bbtalk #ctwitzc

Major Malady: Tweet vs. Tweet in #mashup

The Center for Twitzease Control has documented several known cases of a rare Twitzease known as a #mashup. A leading scientist from the center, who wished to remain blameless, tells us that the Twitzease produces symptoms that range from “the pernicious to the delicious, the nefarious to the hilarious.” Symptoms: Two Tweets by two utterly unrelated Tweeters, often celebrities, are combined or “mashed up” together to form a single, mutant Tweet. Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #mashup #ctwitzc Example: @NICKIMINAJ: Not endorsing it. Own it @justinbieber: Just got this! Thank u Norway. Gonna be a great show tonight TZT @justinbieber & @NICKIMINAJ Not endorsing a great show tonight. Own u, Norway. #mashup...

The Worst Twitzease EVER!!?!?! #twixtreme...

The Center for Twitzease Control is wringing its hands, pacing up and down blubbering, and texting everyone it knows upon hearing news of a potential outbreak of the Twitzease #twixtreme. Symptoms: Every emotion is taken ABSOLUTELY to its MAX!! The LIFETIME BEST or the COMPLETE WORST!!!! With incredible URGENCY!!!  Seriously I am NOT KIDDING!!! Retweet Tag: TZT Hashtags: #twixtreme #ctwitzc Example: I lost my +FAVORITE+ mechanical pencil and MY DAY is ******ing RUINED!!! Why MEEE?!?!?!? #twixtreme #ctwitzc...