March 22, 2004

minutes of sunday's literary lunch in exile

   12:02 Allen dumps his entire canvas briefcase on the table. If he doesn't find that parking ticket they're going to put his head on a stake in front of city hall.

12:04 'wordsman doesn't like the taste of today's cream; it has turned to yogurt in his coffee. Negotiating with the surly waitress for new milk will be a challenge.

12:05 Rob apologizes for being late. Who saw last night's final TV episode of "Bachelor Surprise" where the handsome bachelor revealed he has a terminal disease?

 
   12:08 Allen thinks reality shows on TV are morality plays. Looks vs. Personality. Nice People vs. Cutthroat Competitors. Love vs. Money. Stuff people face at work every day.

12:12 Reality shows only pretend to frame conflicts between those value systems, says Rob. They all promote "Winning" and "Being on TV" as the highest values.

12:17 'wordsman chickens out on asking the waitress for better cream.

12:20 That's 'wordsman's whole problem: being assertive. Assertive is not aggressive. Asking the waitress is perfect practice.

12:24 Where did Allegory go as a literary device? asks Allen. It was the favorite stunt for centuries.

12:31 Love vs. Money. Cupid squares off against King Midas. The king installs a good muffler.

12:34 Here's wordsman's big chance to be assertive. He chit-chats with the waitress instead. Allen and Rob wriggle and bite their tongues.

12:36 'wordsman is a trend-setter. Soon everyone will be having yogurt in their coffee.

12:40 Too bad the name "GoGurt" is already taken. It would be perfect. Pro-tein and caff-eine --- everyone's favorite "eeen"s

12:44 Rob thinks those reality shows are magnificently edited. He wants to find out how they take the raw footage and cut it into a show.

12:51 'wordsman says he's getting too much coaching about asking the waitress for new cream. He's not asking her to marry him.

12:53 Allen says the TV Fame Machine is getting so sophisticated that it doesn't want "acting" any more. It wants supposedly "real" people.

12:57 Of course the "real" people are painfully aware they're on TV and are acting in their own clumsy way. Rob says jaded audiences crave clumsiness.

1:01 The waitress asks both "More coffee?" and "Is there anything else I can get you?" and 'wordsman is mute.

1:03 Allen finally joined his local public radio station. Their on-air fundraising became too annoying. But now that he's joined, the fundraising is absolutely insufferable. He wants to drop his radio in the bathtub. While he's in it.

1:06 Waitress brings the bill. Last chance for 'wordsman.

1:07 'wordsman will accept investors in his new caffeinated yogurt franchise.

1:09 'wordsman has forgotten his wallet. They pay and put on coats.

 
Posted by rob at March 22, 2004 01:06 PM