Fantasy Automated Investors League (F.A.I.L)
Netprov Project
by Rob Wittig, Mark C. Marino and students of Mark Marino
Text Archive
Descending Chronological Order (read from bottom upwards)
3 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
Why did I think jack in the box was a good idea at this time?? #barf #fail12 #twitterfiction
3 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
@JimboRee2 hahaha yess do it #fail12
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3 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
is consuela gonna take us over?? #fail12 #twitterfiction
3 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
is dan and consuela gonna merge companies? #fail12 #twitterfiction
3 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
all i want is dans dataminers coffee #fail12 #twitterfiction
3 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
so is this movie night gonna happen or what? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Paris Pretty @ParisPretty3
Go consultants! We can make this happen #fail12
2 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
bed time prayer: dear god, plz make ppl in this city learn how to drive in the rain by tmr morning, gnight #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
life was good, it was all good. Goodbye mail you. Bye of good @RandyVanVogler Bloody Mary. Body Mary. Bloody... #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
can we get like a name change, I'm not digging going to work for a company called Consaultants, anyone agree?! #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
@Dans_dataminers one last get together? I'll buy us all a round with what may be my last paycheck! #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
I decided to keep a positive attitude (with a little help from my friend smirnoff) I'm sure my work is appreciated #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
oh you will...once i get my paycheck lol ;) @nordstrom_rack @IzzyJameson12 #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@JanaSummerz yerp! #workgrind #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
But the comrade and his crunchies prefer an offsite presence. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
wrapping up FAIL 12, it was a good bowl #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
I'm actually hungry too, I kinda just want to eat the egg. Probably the only thing I can afford now :(. #nightrants #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Goodnight World. Until next time... #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
And the insomnia continues...I feel as empty as the egg in my picture. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 3, 23:09. Never did get a chance to fire Betsy, but this was a good fight. Better than what I got in 'Nam. Much better. #fail12
2 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Looking forward to the future company now... #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@ManuelaCDomingu No work Monday per @Lisas_lions's request!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
Back to work tomorrow, right? #fail12
2 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
@GiNaSwaggu Tis the most wonderful time of the year! #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
@IzzyJameson12 couldn't agree more #fail12
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2 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
Sunday night already? time sure flies #fail12 #twitterfictions
2 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
@anhuajc yep so excited for the traffic and the rain #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
the sky is the limit #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
What a crazy Sunday for @dans_dataminers ! #fail12 #twitterficiton
2 Dec Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
it just sucks to know my fate isn't in my own hands #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
@IzzyJameson12 I'll go with you! Can't believe this, I'll stick with martinis though #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
waiting for notification if I keep my job :/ #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Sorry I've been mia today! Busy day! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@hhyang0723 #fail12 #twitterfiction food before work!
2 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
Sunday already? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
At dinner with @anhuajc. #fail12. #twitterfiction
2 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
@dans_dataminers yes sir. always. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Paris Pretty @ParisPretty3
Watch us win! #fail12
2 Dec Tammy @kang_tammy
@ConsualtCarolyn true that. but I firmly believe in mixing business with pleasure ;) #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
@ManuelaCDomingu No work tmrw MT @Lisas_lions Lions: We’re going to ALL take Monday off as a grieving day. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Carolyn @ConsualtCarolyn
status update? #fail12
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Small Fire Out. Knw that the Skymaall Mini Extinguisher was Going to Come in Handy. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
Dreading MondayMorningSyndrome. In need of optimism. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
There's a cheeseburger in the conference room no one has claimed... #finderskeepers #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@IzzyJameson12 i hear ya! im overdue for a @nordstrom_rack visit #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
work on monday is going to suck #rain #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
anyone else watching the grinch on abc fam? i personally prefer the cartoon... #25daysofchristmas #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
@IzzyJameson12 @Dans_dataminers Couldn't agree more! Lets do it! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
maybe it's time for an intervention... @IzzyJameson12 #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
THEY ARE COMING @Consualtants. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@ArloPub You would do this...#fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
Pheww!! Thank goodness. Got me nervous there for a sec #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec John Locke @JohnLoc83021513
@Consualtants Not just yet! Still a long way to go! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec John Locke @JohnLoc83021513
@Lisas_lions Congrats boss! Job well done! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec John Locke @JohnLoc83021513
Amazed with the company's performance. 70 POINTS INCREASE!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
How did the rams beat the niners again? #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
days off!? #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@Lisas_lions make sure @Dans_dataminers sees that. Let 'em know what he's missing. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
I need some retail therapy STAT. And maybe a margarita, Def a marg. @Nordstrom , @nordstrom_rack , @Bloomingdales , here I come. #fail12
2 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Hungry. Who wants to grab dinner? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
Former @Dans_dataminers employees: Who's d to start a new Consulting firm? I have to believe we can do better than these clowns #fail12
2 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Yes!! RT @Lisas_lions Lisas_Lions NET VALUE INCREASED 70 POINTS, more days off coming your way! #FAIL12 #Twitterfiction
2 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@JimboRee2 Apparently not. Wouldn't it be cool if we worked for a person instead of a robot? #totalfail #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@aliveandclive I can get it for you thru mine. Just leave $15 on my desk. Imma get ones with pugs and maltese ;) #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
I look forward to spending my new abundance of time gardening and exploring my lifes greater essence #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants accepted an offer from Google. Taking top 5 in my dept with me-cant handle #twitterdrama anymore #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
The office life around the accounting department is getting dull. We need some drama people! Some drama! #cravingaction #fail12...
2 Dec Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
Hoping for a job Dan! GIVE ME A JOB! I just wannt feed my bellay. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
Another crazy night planned to subdue those man tears #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Duck Tapped the Smok Detector, smoking a Fat Cuban #finecigar #YOLO #fail12
2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
finding a stable job in this economy is important, but that doesn't mean i have to completely give up on my dreams #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
does Dan not know that he can make his own decisions?? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Mail on sunday, who would have ever knew that these guys were working eh? @RandyVanVogler #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
I seriously love lions. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@Lisas_lions #moredaysoff = #dreamcometrue. Happy for you. Go Lions! #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_Lions NET VALUE INCREASED 70 POINTS, more days off coming your way! #FAIL12 #Twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_lions GAIN 135 POINTS: head's a littlePartly Cloudy but my heart's true! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
Getting your employees drunk at a holiday party before firing them ain't cool, yo. @Dans_dataminers #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
@Consualtants thank you for your job offer, but i will have to pass on that. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Why, Niners. Why. #stayingloyal #devastated #fail12
2 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
Talking to you @Lisas_lions #fail12
2 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
Sucks to suck. #fail12
2 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
Peppermint mocha? Yes please. @secretaryjane let's bring these puppies in on Tuesday #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@AliveandClive Happy 2 have found a fellow Ginger fan. "And we feel proud, proud, proud. So we sing our song aloud" #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@annaconda1222 ohemgee your avi is to die for! "At camp caprice we don't say mooses we say meese..." #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
In the Meantime, not Much Better than Ayn Rand, Selfishness, and Gin #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
No Response Yet from @Lisas_lions but it's Okay, she has Big Fish to Fry right now. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@Lisas_lions I'm all about holiday cheer. Are you thinking Secret Santa or White Elephant gifts this year? #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
All This talk of Communes... Cracking open my Well-Loved #AtlasShrugged to Resist Temptation #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
the crunchy reading list for this month: John Ruskin's Stones Of Venice #wedontjustreadmarx #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
that is why we pay in cereal - we grow wheat, make cereal, eat cereal. #fail12 #twitterfiction #communism
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@LaneyJones7 I suggest My Best Friend's Wedding in the romcom category of Netflix. Perfect 4 cuddling on rainy days #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec John Locke @JohnLoc83021513
I think we still got a chance against dan and consuela fshoo! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
I HAVE DISCOVERED THE LUNCH THIEF!!! BE AFRAID!!! BE VERY AFRAID!!! #lunchthief #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
Oh nooo...#frustration #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@SkylerWhite15 oops you're right! Just tweeting without looking at my feed, big nono!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@LaneyJones7 @manuelacdomingu WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF! If you know what I mean.... #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@ManuelaCDomingu Love this, do you think I could use @Lisas_lions Prime account so I don't have to pay shipping? #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec K @ElachkarKarim
@SkipperPratt @ElachkarKarim @ConsualtCarolyn @kang_tammy @anhuajc @Lindar62601227 Backgammon party at Senior Living Residences! #fail12
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2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
in the past, i've always just listened to what my parents told me to do without ever thinking on my own #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec K @ElachkarKarim
@ConsualtCarolyn @SkipperPratt @kang_tammy @anhuajc @Lindar62601227 I don't !! I retired ahha #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
This take over @Consualtants looks like we might be getting a raise down here in the mailroom. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
This gloomy weather = netflix + cuddling in bed with the pup. Doing this 3-day weekend right. #livingthelife #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Agent Sanderson @AgentSanderson1
@RandyVanVogler @Consualtants Looks like books might be cooked. Considering shutting this whole thing down #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
getting difficult to stay optimistic... #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
@.@ seriously? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
just woke up, way to start my day productively. Better change it with a can of beer #sunday #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_Lions NET VALUE DROPPED 61 TODAY: employee lawsuit prep draining budgets #FAIL12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
NEW MOODY'S RATINGS FOR Lisas_lions BONDS: USELESS JUNK #fail12 #twitterfiction pic.twitter.com/tZPkIx7f
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2 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
morale is down. i am bringing christmas-y and lion-y stuffs to redecorate the @Lisas_lions den on tuesday! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
Oh heck yeah @Lisa_lions! Thanks for the day off. #bestbossever #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Jehovah's Witnesses came to My Door this Morning... Spent so Much Time Crying and Asking Questions tht they Had to Leave #confession #fail12
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
looks like I may be able to keep my job w/ @Consualtants but still anxious-not sure our staff can handle this merger #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Commander @Consualtants: Intel on @AgentSanderson1, first name Anderson, last name Sanderson. No known family. Agent for the SEC. #fail12
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2 Dec Kali Baumon @troyconkwestppd
Woh, its Sunday and sum a yawl are still eggs. #coachnpizzd #fail12
2 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@shin_sophie results have already been revealed - check your TL! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@jeremybucks1 hey, as I understand it, as long as u are irreplaceable, you've got absolutely nothing to worry about #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
#fail12 #twitterfiction employment paper on the way!
2 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@Consualtants yeaaaa budddyyy! lego consualtants! #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@randyvanvogler The usual. (The usual?) See what you can find out abt him or her. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Commander @Consualtants we got a spook, goes by the name of @AgentSanderson1, tryin to dig up dirt. Yer orders? #fail12 #consualtantsordeath
2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Walking into her office right now. Please no bad news… #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@AgentSanderson1, I ain't no goddamn snitch, even if @RhettMcGillyC is a no-good commie bastard. @Consualtants is by the book. #fail12
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2 Dec Morene @Morene4
@shin_sophie I'm hungry! Have you ever tried Ethopian food? Its yummy. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Lisas_lions How About Now? You seem Like you could Use a Liquid Lunch #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Agent Sanderson @AgentSanderson1
@RandyVanVogler You could start by telling us anything you know about the dealings of @RhettMcGillyC and @Consualtants. #fail12
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2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 3, 13:40. The battle is won, yet there is still emptiness. Don't know how to return to work in the mailroom. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@BettyBetch1 have u had the Gelson's salmon salad with the citrus vinaigrette? As good as whole foods but cheaper! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
FOOTBALLLL. Make me proud, Niners! #49ers #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
@Marg_Espinoza chamomile tea, soothing? Amen to that! Care to be a doll and bring some on Monday? :) #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Can we think about relocating the office? Absurd that we are 17 miles from trader joes. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@arlopub Hi. Doing anything after work Wednesday? Want to catch a drink someplace? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@Taylor_Fitz @BettyBetch1 Fitz, @Lisas_lions said we get Monday off. #duh #getwiththeprogram #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
WE SPENT SO MUCH ON USELESS MISCELLANEOUS EXPENSES LAST YEAR!!! I MEAN...REALLY?!! #comeonman #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
What now! #fail12
2 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
Now I'm in @Consualtants? No! #fail12
2 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
Tired of this. #fail12
2 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@Lisas_lions Proud to be a lion!! We'll be kicking some serious butt after a Monday of R&R #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Good 'Ol @RandyVanVogler, we're good friends you don't have to worry about em @RandyVanVogler #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
Is this vending machine ever gonna get pre boxed sushi? #starved #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
Secretly way too excited for the grieving day off tomorrow. Time for some retail shopping therapy! #noneedtogrieve #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@shin_sophie i'd love to! let's meet at @yellowhouseLA #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
A man just called and asked if I could fax him something. Sure, ill make sure to page your beeper too. #Uh #No #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@Lisas_lions it spells LIONS!!! Woohooo!,;)&&?;:&$"$:/?& #teamspirit #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Hmmm, what to eat for lunch! I've got all of #LA at my fingertips...any cute cafe ideas? Tweet me if you wanna eat! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
b/c i didn't enjoy my work, i've always had such low energy and just never realized it. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
My Instagram is all about me. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@Taylor_Fitz Monday? Ill be taking a personal day that day #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Carolyn @ConsualtCarolyn
never mix Business with Personal. #fail12
2 Dec Carolyn @ConsualtCarolyn
Who wants 2 continue being a consualtant? coup d'état ne1? HAH @SkipperPratt @ElachkarKarim @kang_tammy @anhuajc @Lindar62601227 #fail12
2 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
Nothing like spending the day watching some quality December Football. Trying to procrastinate work tomorrow #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Carolyn @ConsualtCarolyn
@Consualtants Mind over matter or heart over matter...will you be thinking logically or emotionally. #fail12 #priorities
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
@ArloPub @Consualtants Business school is full of shit...nothing could have prepared us for this. #fml #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 3, 12:00. @Dans_dataminers refugees everywhere, begging for lattes and a job. Febreze masks the smell of burnt flesh and tears. #fail12
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Maybe I Want To Be a Painter... And A Father. But then @Consualtants Is Winning So Hard. uBusiness School Did Not Prep Me For This #fail12
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
I Have Signed up for Art Classes just In Case #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
We WIn #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Meeting with Lisa in 2 hours. Can't keep my food down. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants you know you could use this thing called email. #tellmeifihaveajobalready #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions about to declare free agency #justwantmyholidaybonus #jeremylinstatus #makemeanoffer #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
I need some wine #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 3, 11:33. Finally received orders from command. The battle is won, but the war rages on. #fail12 #consualtantsordeath
2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
MT @Consualtants: As of minutes ago Dan & his Daaminers were absorbed into Consualtants. #fail12 #twitterfiction waittt what?!
2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Commander @Consualtants CR1 secured. Entrances booby trapped with punji sticks and claymores for any tangos. #fail12 #consualtantsordeath
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2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
I need a vacation soooo baaaaad! I am open to any suggestions once this budgeting project is complete #tiredofworking #fail12...
2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@shin_sophie Even after all the wine/food we had, I ordered Thai at home haha #noshame Another marathon night soon! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@ArloPub We're all expendable, Arlo. It's the precarious life for you philosophically-committed capitalists. #fail12
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2 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@ManuelaCDomingu @AliveandClive Yes, I'm down!! #puppydate #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Barbara salinas @Barbi801
@Lisas_lions #fail12 #twitterfiction hola
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2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
What’s that spell??!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
At least we’re not sitting on the sidelines, right, Lions! We’re playing! Thanks for playing! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
@Lisas_lions I hope this meeting involves a raise... #Fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
What’s that spell??!! (I have to look back in the feed and make sure it’s right) #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
Greaaat Morning to figure out what I'm gonna do...great morning isn't it...#fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
. . . and there are those who are kind of keeping options open to see if something better comes along #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@SkyeZalimit looks like somebody needs a tissue #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
In any game there are winners, and there are . . . #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
Wait. Why am I here? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
There's something so chic about going to work without brushing my hair #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@ArloPub oh Arlo, you flatter me. Sorry for not responding. I was drinking. #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Agent Sanderson @AgentSanderson1
@Consualtants: Ignoring this won't make it any better. You are aware you bribed an employee in a public forum? #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
I'm going to have to turn to old money trails if nothing changes, this is my LIFE bro mannnn #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Give me an “S”!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Can't get out of bed #sundaymorning #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
It's official. Back on the job market. The wicked witch can't wait until next week to tell us, but we all know it's coming. #damnit #fail12
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Your updated employment status notification will arrive next week to your current home address via registered letter #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@Lisas_lions COme tuesday will there be any room for ex @Dans_dataminers employees? I can't take another day there...#fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Give me an “N”!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
@SkyeZalimit That's beautiful, Skye. You should cease this moment to pursue your love of Dance. Or was that Franz... #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
As of minutes ago Dan & his Daaminers were absorbed into Consualtants. We look forward to a successful partnership. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
@Lisas_lions Sure, always ready to help. Hang in there! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Give me an “O”!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Rob Wittig @Netprov_RobWit
Experiencing the exhilaration of interacting with other reader/player/characters live. The improv part of netprov. #fail12 Living fiction!
2 Dec Agent Sanderson @AgentSanderson1
@Consualtants this is Special Agent Anderson Sanderson, SEC, we'd like to talk to you about your conversation w/ Rhett McGillycuddy #fail12
2 Dec Rob Wittig @Netprov_RobWit
Having so much fun wrapping up the new F.A.I.L. netprov #fail12 http://robwit.net/fail I LOVE THIS ARTFORM! Tons of ideas for next project!
2 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
i'm a gryffindor at heart. that's how i know i'm in the right place, @Lisas_lions keep up the fight! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Dear Employees of Consualtants and the former Dan’s Dataminers, welcome to the first day of the rest of my life! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
enjoy your sunday fundays before maniac monday arrives :) #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Give me an “I”!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Press conference is over Time for me to shake hands with Connie and smile for the cameras. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
in fact im kinda glad i got laid off. it made me realize how unhappy i was at work & how i was not pursuin my dreams #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@Lisas_lions that's the spirit! GO LIONS #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Let’s hear it, Lisa’s Lions!!! Give me an “L”!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Dans_dataminers NET VALUE INCREASED 35 TODAY: District judge halts labor action #fail12 http://bit.ly/WuIAqP
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Guess kinda hoping you guys would choose Lisa for me, but hey, that’s the breaks. Gonna be a rich dad with nannies. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Then, Lions, we’re going to carefully, conscientiously, humanely and sustainably kick some DanSuela ass in the open marketplace. #fail12
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Taylor_Fitz See me Tuesday a.m. and we'll talk #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@DanSuelafail wise decision #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@morene4 You're right, Morene. I am now hereby officially pulling myself together. Thanks, I needed that! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Still recuperating from late-night HIMYM watching with @hk123112! Anxious to hear @Dans_dataminers decision today. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Never thought of Lisa romantically before this weekend. The idea grew on me. Kinda wish the vote had been different. #fail12
2 Dec Morene @Morene4
Uumm not so sure whose team I want to be on anymore...stop being a cry-baby Lisa! @Lisas_lions You're not helping. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
i wake up to this?! ugh i should just go back to sleep #sundaymorning #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: We’re going to ALL take Monday off as a grieving day. Anybody who’s working today, Sun, can go home now. #fail12
2 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Good morning @Lisas_lions employees. Our boss is bawling. Awkward. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Look at Connie up there. She was born to do this. And to have my kids, apparently. We’ll see how that goes. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
But let’s look on the bright side Lions employees! We still exist as a company! And we’re still a better place to work, right? #fail12
2 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
I believe a company should woo me. @Lisa_lions what do you have for me? #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Weird to be sitting here at the press conference. Connie is nailing it. I’m getting stinkeye from the reporters. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
L: I won’t lie to you, people, I’ve been bawling my eyes out since early this morning. I’ve lost a man and gained a supercompetitor. #fail12
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
sunday morning and I cant even sleep in. worried about this #fail12 business. can only imagine how @Dans_dataminers feels #twitterfiction
2 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Dans_dataminers That's a disgustingly high percentage. You call yourself a man? #fail12
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2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Connie worked out the layoff formula and the severance package - Oh yeah, you all get a little something! With her people. #fail12
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Who goes & who stays? It's partly seniority, partly productivity, and partly some formula about the letters in your twitter handle. #fail12
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Connie has sworn to me that no more than 70% of you Dataminers will be laid off. I held the line! #fail12
2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
I'm going to try to enjoy the rest of my Sunday morning before I get shot down today #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
I'm getting suited up for the big press conference at where - no surprise - I'm going to hand the keys of the Dataminers to Connie. #fail12
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Hey there, former employees of the former Dan's Dataminers company. It's been pretty great being your boss for the last 48 hrs. #fail12
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@SkipperPratt I want you to track down @Doc_Farnsworth and keep him in your sights. He might flip at any instant #fail12
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@RandyVanVogler keep on the lookout for @SkipperPratt and @Doc_Farnsworth They might go rogue at any moment #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Doc_Farnsworth Listen to my voice and no other. I need you to keep an eye on @RandyVanVogler and @SkipperPratt and report to me. #fail12
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@RandyVanVogler I need to you secure Conf Rm 1 for a brief meeting with the new board at 0900 and then a Press Conference #fail12
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@SkipperPratt I need you to surveil @RandyVanVogler and keep a close eye on him up thru the press conference #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@danlisafall12 Gooooo Lions!! #werkdrama #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
to all, im sry for cussing at you guys. i overreacted. im ok now. i've just had the biggest realization in my life. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Hope you make the right decision @Dans_dataminers @DanLisaFail12!! @lisas_lions is the best company ever! #thank you #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
Fantasy Automated Investors League wraps up today as employees decide the fate of Dan, Lisa, & Consuela #fail12 #twitterfiction #elit
2 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
@Rachel_Toualdi yes i was told through email to meet with Lisa on the day i got laid off. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
Decided to work out for 2 hours today to compensate for yesterday's failure. Life is a touch cookie. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
Making a breakfast run to McDonald's. Someone is welcome to join me. Oh, and let me know if @Lisas_lions wants anything #fail12...
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@RhettMcGillyC yeah im going to go polish my resume now #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
As you watch #fail12 lookout for autotweets triggered by real-world conditions.1st time we've used those in a #netprov #twitterfiction #elit
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@themcgavin25 which one do your work for? #fail12 #twitterfiction http://robwit.net/fail
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2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@rachel_toualdi @shin_sophie couldn't sleep either. Nice to see employees tho u're 1 of the reasons I can't sleep #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Terrible night of sleep. Why am I up this early on a Sunday? #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Wow why am I awake? It's way too early!!! I need my #beautysleep #insomniac #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
According to an article on Forbes, our firm is number 9 in top 20 firms to work for. Interesting. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Well, idk, from the looks of it @DanSuelafail12 won out. Pretty low voter turnout, tho #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
Employees in #FAIL12 had to choose btwn following @DanSuelaFail12 or @DanLisaFail12 Voting w their Twitter feet (twalons?) #twitterfiction
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@hk123112 See? My employees are NOT starving! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Um hombres is there any chance your pinteresting is work-related? #fail12 #twitterifction Ay!
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Consualtants INTERNAL EMAIL SERVER FALLS TO EXCESSIVE PINTEREST USE. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_lions GAIN 57 TODAY! investor outlookSunny & money! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Dans_Dataminers NET VALUE DROPPED 27 TODAY: Relations with employees -- chilly #fail12 #twitterficion
2 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
Thai delivery at 3:30AM? Yes, it's happening. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
Still at the office...and it's 3:30am #notlovinglife #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Had to take my meds, the voices finally went away. I need to ask roger at work if he hears them too. #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@secretaryjane Totally forgot about that! Hope sugar relieves my MondayMorningSyndrome. Oh god, already dreading it. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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2 Dec Morene @Morene4
Loooooong day...time for bed! #fail12 #twitterfictiom
2 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Dans_Dataminers NET VALUE DROPPED 30 TODAY: prepare for triage! #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Consualtants NET VALUE INCREASED 73 TODAY: I win, you lose! #fail12 http://bit.ly/WuIAqP
2 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
I'm freaking out right now. I can't fall asleep. #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
still up doing work. hope @Consualtants will let me keep my job. If not will add "send out resumes" to my to-do list #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
Working an all nighter tonight #thisblows #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Confirmed, good effect on target MT @Lisas_lions GUSTS CONTINUE TO PLAGUE Lisas_lions. CORPORATE BLIMP DISASTER #fail12 pic.twitter.com/Y4WcuCHB
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2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
My Heart goes out To All the Families but also my Competitve sidle is LOLling #winning #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
sitting Here w. @RhettMcGillyC when we got Wind of the Blimp (gettit) #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
GUSTS CONTINUE TO PLAGUE Lisas_lions. CORPORATE BLIMP DISASTER #fail12 #twitterfiction pic.twitter.com/2gOqiJIK
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2 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
staying up for unexpected work, i love my life #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
It's all going to hell everything they won't don't stop. These voices are just so won't stopp #twitterfiction #fail12
2 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
up late listening to @TreySongz doing work for @Dans_dataminers sigh. #notimpressed #fail12
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
ive decided that i can make more money. i have a jd/mba. #betterthanthis #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants this takeover creates unecessary work for me+my dept we can do better-if i leave im taking em w/me #fail12 #twitterfiction
2 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@ArloPub make it a double and hold the rocks and water. I'll be there in five. #twitterfiction #fail12
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2 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@RhettMcGillyC It's me, after hours Scotch, sort of Mad Men Style, Care To Join? I'm Right Next Door to the Corner Office. #fail12
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2 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
hopefully i make it through the night #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
so much work to be done. Feel like I'm in school again, rushing to finish final projects and study for finals! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
feeling kind of paranoid around the office for some reason. feel like someone's watching. @RandyVanVogler? #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@Doc_Farnsworth YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE @Dans_dataminers SPY! #consualtantsordeath #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
@SkyeZalimit Did you get an email about an important meeting with Lisa when you got laid off? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Doc_Farnsworth Careful, there's a crazy 'Nam vet that works in there and he's armed. #twitterfiction #fail12 @RandyVanVogler
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1 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
The characters in my show told me to burn down the mailroom at work #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
Can't get past level 6 of angry birds. Dammit. #Wednesdayhumpday #almost over #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@gainesian #twitterfiction #fail12 true that
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Christmas Movie Marathon! #ilovechristmas #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Time to go to bed. I hope I still have a job by tomorrow. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Reed Gaines @geedraines
@chouxsalad They're all distracted by Starbucks and stuff. Over-stimulation and brand identity breeding passivity. Adorno stuff. #fail12
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1 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
@schmoejoe91 i love christmas #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Missed my Niece's Birthday. If I just give her Money, I'm the Creepy Uncle. Even Basic things I Mess Up. #problems #fail12
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Burned. Unsure about My Place/Life. Am I Rly as Esential as I Think? Maybe I just Want a Family. Maybe I want to be a Chef. #midlife #fail12
1 Dec Reed Gaines @geedraines
@chouxsalad Ender's Game-- makes perfect sense. I'm worried that the employees are altogether too docile, though. #fail12
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
any1 also concerned abt @Consualtants @Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions doing biz on twitter? secrets via internet=bad #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@AnnieWalk3r @Consualtants Ha, if only commerce were equitable. too bad for us our society is capitalist #fightpower #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
Time to start another night shift @Consualtants. gonna miss snl w/ d craig. maybe can rustle up casio porta-tv from 85 in L&F. #fail12
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants why dont we just look at this takeover as an expansion + everyone keeps their jobs? #newbusinessmodel #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@shin_sophie can I borrow some of your #overcaffeinated energy please? #latenight #earlymorning #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
i feel that if i keep tweeting about dans dataminers, i might not get promoted. nahhh they're chill! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Has anybody seen my Adele record? Haven't seen it since I got a lil' tipsy at our Turkey Day party #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
what kind of company skips out on a holiday party??? #fail12 #twitterfiction #unreal #smh #wheresmybonus
1 Dec Morene @Morene4
TOO MANY EMAILS! STAHP! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Late night happy hour..cheers to zero layoffs! #fail12 #teamlisa #twitterfiction
1 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@DanSuelafail12 is the future #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
Man I love balancing @Lisas_lions checkbook...NOT! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
We are in this together @Lisas_lions Lions Unite! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
the show of my favorite is widely on tonight #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Did anyone else get an email about a meeting tomorrow? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
wonder where I'll end up with on Monday...#fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
@Consualtants @Dans_dataminers now that is worthy of the Crunchie seal of approval! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 2, 21:01 Still in my fox hole. Buzzing of the florescent lights keep me awake. I might be the only one left #consualtantsordeath #fail12
1 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
To go with... @DanSuelafail12? or to go with... @danlisafail12? Hmm.. My decision will be... #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@SkylerWhite15 I'm paying the price! #overcaffeinated #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
Im counting on one dude, how dumb could I be I guess. Whatever. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@shin_sophie me too.. Getting a venti was not such a good idea.. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@AliveandClive I'll be sure to bring you my Betsy Johnson umbrella tomorrow. It's leopard print. #style #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Champ @champerm
@Lisas_lions OMG Office Space=my life #fail12 #twitter fiction
1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
So...umm @Lisas_lions , do we like get a day off if it rains? What about if it mists? Don't have an umbrella :( #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@AliveandClive General-wierdness counselors hired by @Lisas_Lions are coming on Tuesday. See you there. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@LaneyJones7 Sorry I have an errand to run tomorrow morning. But I am down this weekend. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@HK123112 And I'll have snacks! #latenightsnacking #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@shin_sophie Coming! I'll bring some wine! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
Wonder if ill still have a job on Monday. #fail12. #twitterfiction
1 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
So hungry right now. Need some pho. #fail12. #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
MT @Consualtants: Consualtants NET VALUE INCREASED 74 TODAY #fail12 #twitterfiction impressive...hmm
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@secretaryjane 'Tis very true dear...and I'm so fat, I totally had some chicken soft tacos from Del Taco after work! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Lisas_lions for a new desk chair and the same salary/benefits I get from @Consualtants, Im willing to join your co #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@skylerwhite15 I'm still totally wired from my caramal brulee latte I had today #caffeine #nottired #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@hk123112 So sorry for the late response! I started without ya, c'mon and join! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
F U all for having a stable job, especially u betty @BettyBetch1 since i never c u do any work. god life's so unfair #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Consualtants NET VALUE INCREASED 74 TODAY: I win, you lose! #fail12 http://bit.ly/WuIAqP
1 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
@janasummerz Damn.. I'm with you sista! Trying to forget about this mess and just have some fun! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Morene @Morene4
Coincidentally met some of Lisa's employees at sushi...wouldn't mind working there, they were a good looking bunch! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
meh = what i think of current events #fail12
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Would pay serious $ to anyone that will deliver Taco Bell to my apartment. and 21 choices. puhh-leaseeeeee. #fail12 #fatgirlproblems
1 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
@IzzyJameson12 starbucks aint good enough for you? we prob can't afford anything else anyway on this salary #fail12
1 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
@JimboRee2 @GiNaSwaggu @DreDancer1 @FranzLoblow @JanaSummerz No, never! #fail12
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1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
@Lisas_lions I think @shin_sophie sounds fine..now. But you can never have too many pep talks! starbucks and advice on me! #fail12
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1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Welp, Steve Madden > work #winning #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Cannot focus..this is why employees should not have work to take home! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
the only thing better is knowing your company is doing just fine #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Finally home… longest.day.ever. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
and the best part of christmas is eggnog and rum. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
best part of saturday is there is no work on sunday #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@ManuelaCDomingu Are you and your little one free tomorrow morning? We should have a play date! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Zac Segawa @ZacSegawa
This is new hire & Chief Compliance Officer, Zac Segawa. Fair Warning: Pepper Sprayers will be swiftly reprimanded! #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Doc_Farnsworth If @Consualtants would allow us to unionize benefits would be ours! #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
We need better benefits! My work insurance won't cover the cost of my thorazine prescription! @Consualtants #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@AliveandClive what the boss wants the boss gets. take it up with @Lisas_lions #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
@AliveandClive All water is beautiful, Clive. It flows through us like it does so many rivers #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Is there any reason that we have Sparkletts instead of Arrowhead? @secretaryjane and I #hateit #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
Damn it, I need to make it to manager, but I do miss that holiday spirit #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@Annaconda1222 hope you feel better soon! we miss you at the office. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Champ @champerm
@Lisas_lions Found out ways to exercise at work using a water bottle #fail12 @twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@BettyBetch1 why diddnt you Respond this Is an Excelent Opportunity #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
feels like there's a war going on... #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
Let's all be optimistic and keep our jobs! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@RandyVanVogler Excuse me, but it was a barcalounger under the freeway. #fail12
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1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
I Don't know Whatt's Goinng on but I suppoert @Consualtants #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
Just realized I consumed 1800 calories from those tacos. Life is full of traps. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@anhuajc Thanks! Looking forward to your feedback #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
Out of tissues. Again. @Lisas_lions taking a necessary sick break. #flu #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
MT @Lisas_lions: Lisas_Lions NET VALUE INCREASED 68 POINTS #FAIL12 #Twitterfiction Oh dangg
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@Jack_Pollan Gingerbread Latte? Sounds delish! Will try next time #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 2, 18:20. Commander @Consualtants hasn't passed down orders. Heard rumors of a truce with @Dans_dataminers but can't believe it #fail12
1 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
big things are happening at dans dataminers. bigger than investments, bigger than valuations. im scared. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@RhettMcGillyC I was killin' commies like you in the jungles 'fore you were even conceived on that rottin' couch under the freeway! #fail12
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1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
So I think I may just have to go with @dansuelafail12.. Sorry @Lisas_lions. Please don't fire me! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
I love working for @Lisas_lions, but I don't think I can survive taking a 12% pay cut just to merge w/ @Dans_dataminers. #fail12
1 Dec Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
it's what's on the inside that counts Dan. you should know that! @Dans_dataminers #fail12
1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@AliveandClive YOU'RE SEXY #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
Jingleball tonight. Guess those spreadsheets are gonna have to wait... #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@SkylerWhite15 Even if the office bathroom stinks, isn't it awesome to work for @Lisas_lions? #grateful #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Hmmm spent a lot of time this morning contemplating the various offers... #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
i gave up my freaking dreams in order to get this freakin stable job!!!!!!! i worked so hard and this is what i get #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
Let the 10 minute countdown begin until I finally leave! #fail12 #twitter fiction
1 Dec Morene @Morene4
FTS, time to de-stress with happy hour and sushi. This shit is getting outta hand. Anyone wanna join? #fail12 #twitterfiction.
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@RandyVanVogler Last week was my off-week. Unpaid I might add. #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@RhettMcGillyC you traitorous sum-bitch Im glad I smeared my shit all over the walls of the restroom last week #consualtantsordeath #fail12
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1 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
In the market for a new coffee place. Wherever I'm working Monday, I want to have some good joe. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
@Lisas_lions keep up the good work! And don't forget to thank your employees ;) #totalsuckup #idontcare #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@AnnieWalk3r @Lisas_lions @Consualtants Would @Dans_dataminers employees get new chairs too? I'm d. #fail12
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1 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
After years at Stanford, and @HarvardHBS, and working in NYC, I finally have an opportunity to choose good over evil. #Roar #fail12
1 Dec Jason Cronley @CrasonJonley
I want more stock options of we are being bought out #fail12 #dataminers
1 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
To the HR employee that took my salmon salad: NOT COOL! I WILL FIND YOU! #lunchtheif #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_Lions NET VALUE INCREASED 68 POINTS, future's so bright I've got blind optimism! #FAIL12 #Twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@RandyVanVogler your jingoistic zeal blinds you to the reality of your situation. @Consualtants is using you! #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@theMcGavin25 @Lisas_lions seriously! wonder who gets her coffee...#fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Commander @Consualtants, @RhettMcGillyC has gone AWOL, You want an KO on this sack of shit? I'll smoke the commie bastard out. #fail12
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Doc_Farnsworth I'm holding my mop hostage until @Consaultants meets my demands #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
@ManuelaCDomingu Or too much about Dan… #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
I made my vote early, hoping to maybe get some stock options... #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@crunchycommie OSS designated eyes only, son. NOW, GIT BACK TO YER POST! and get rid of that "commie" bullshit! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
It's 5 o'clock here, put still putting in time at the office. Maybe I can pretend I work on EST. Happy house anyone? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@BettyBetch1 Just bring me some of that Greek yogurt...is that imported straight from Athens? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@RMcCormickk I was there when the VC pulled Francie's tongue out of his ass. I was in the shit, son, not with no goddamn Nurse Zoey. #fail12
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1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Once upon a time, I'd thought I'd be a poet. Now I'm an accountant and sometimes the numbers rhyme in my head. #twitterfail #fail12
1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Since I started working for @Lisas_Lions , I've been super into leopard prints. Coincidence, I think not. #bigcats #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
I spend at least two hours of work each day on Etsy--searching for the perfect giraffe apron. It still eludes me. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Oh what to do.. what to do... so conflicted! #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
@RhettMcGillyC Where'd you leave the mop? We're really seeing some budget cuts more management these days... #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Commander @Consualtants the mission is FUBAR! We don't have the objective and we got doo mommies all over! We need a new directive! #fail12
1 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@HK123112 yes I will take a look. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Hmm. @danlisafail12 or @dansuelafail12? Having a hard time choosing. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
Nomzz RT“@SkylerWhite15: Yesterday's lunch. #InNOut is just too freaking delicious #fail12 #twitterfiction pic.twitter.com/iOBgN4lE”
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1 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@shin_sophie omg we eat so much #innout at this office lol #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
@HK123112 from starbucks? try their gingerbread latte, it's pretty legit #fail12 #twitterfiction #holidaydrinks
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1 Dec Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@ManuelaCDomingu yes we totally need more holiday spirit at the office. candy cane grams start monday! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
Wanted to try something new and got Pumpkin Spice Latte. Shouldn't have. #peppermintmochaforevs #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
Doing our books for the monthly budgeting report makes me want to cry! Who will help this accountant?! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@annaconda1222 @BettyBetch1 Happy Hour at Sharkeez? First manhattan on me. And the 2nd if u tell me I'm sexy. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@BettyBetch1 you'd be a Good Asset for @Consualtants -- I could Put in a Good Wrd. Talk abt Future over Drinks Tonight? My Treat #fail12
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1 Dec Clive Clive @AliveandClive
Could my secret santa please get me a golden retriever calendar? No chocolate this year. Please. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@ManuelaCDomingu Obvi made the best decis of your life...if they're tacos from El Taurino, that is #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@Consualtants Just turned in the engagement proposal for a pending client. Can you take a look at it? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
If you need me... my nails are still wet. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
Devoured five tacos after a work out. What did I just do??!!!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
They better make the right decision...#fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Morene @Morene4
@ElachkarKarim I agree, this is such nonsense, protests never fix financial situations. Or love triangles. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Just saw this...thank goodness!!! MT: @lisas_lions ... Therefore hereby Friday 12/7 is a paid holiday. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
@SkipperPratt and now you get to fight the fascist capitalists you enabled, oh how the wheel goes round! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
FINALLY done with this project!! #boomshakala #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
If you think I, Dan should take @Lisas_lions Lisa’s offer, FOLLOW @DanLisafail12 on Twitter by 5am Sunday PST #fail12
1 Dec Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
Crunchie commies bring your spoons, we will be eating from our communal bowl tonight! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
@ginaswaggu Peppermint mochas should be a benefit that @Lisas_lions supplies us...unless she decides to give us all raises hehe #fail12...
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
If you think I, Dan, should take @Consualtants Connie’s offer, FOLLOW @DanSuelafail12 on Twitter by 5am Sunday PST #fail12
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
rumors @Lisas_lions offering new desk chairs 2 @Consualtants that cross over #neednewchair #shewentthere #smackdown #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec K @ElachkarKarim
Why are those people protesting? Instead of wasting time protesting they could have already found a new job by now! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
ATTENTION All 3 Companies’ Employees Listen Up! Here’s how to vote on Connie’s offer vs. Lisa’s offer! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
why am i the one being laid off!? im the one w/ the freaking engineering degree in computer science!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec K @ElachkarKarim
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants half a million plus continued healthcare benefits ? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
It’s brilliant! I’m brilliant! And it’s easy! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions OK: I had a brainstorm! Ethics alert! Here’s how I can choose: Let all employees VOTE! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@Dans_dataminers also, screw the wicked witch of the west. Trust me she's playing you. Work with Lisa! For all of us #fail12
1 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
employees of @Dans_dataminers: Let's be part of the solution! Dan, we want our jobs! Stand Tall! Tell us what you need #fail12
1 Dec Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
@SkipperPratt You seem angry. I found this new chamomile tea. It's lovely and soooo soothing #sharing #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
@SkipperPratt Wait, what are we talking about? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
Weekend warriors #fail12
1 Dec Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
@SkipperPratt When I was growing up in Massachusetts my parents used to tell me that joining together was always the answer #fail12
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1 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
only thing keepin me goin 2day: peppermint mochas! thank u starbucks! i bet they pay their employees well... #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@Dans_dataminers We've only given up because you haven't given us a reason not to. Rise to the occasion! We'll follow #fail12
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1 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Can we leave early today? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@lisas_lions: I heard that! #fail12 #twitterfiction @dans_dataminers
1 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
tweets bout the merge are getting on my nerves, can't even relax during the weekend #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@dans_dataminers Of course, she’s single -- or uncollated, as I like to say. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec John Locke @JohnLoc83021513
Should Lisa's company start to diversify portfolio and start investing in S&P MidCap400? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@dans_dataminers: yerba *mate*! It’s a drink. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@consualtants mate???!! I thought you were single? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
only one more day until football sunday! #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
Speaking of headaches.. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@lisas_lions @dans_dataminers Break it up, you two! The saccharine is making my mate go bad. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
TGIS #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@shin_sophie starbucks sounds amazing right now. I'll get a java chip frappuccino pleasee #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions: Yellow's your color #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec MrMcGavin @theMcGavin25
@Lisas_lions Your right Lisa! I love my job in accounting! Lion for life! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_Dataminers I found sticky notes in my clothes for weeks after that. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Yesterday's lunch. #InNOut is just too freaking delicious #fail12 #twitterfiction pic.twitter.com/dyO5t6tL
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_Lions sticky-note fatique. I remember. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
I feel like everyone else is in cahoots, and I'm all out of owls, and a job. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
@Consualtants I did see the movie "Up in the Air" and my wife wishes I looked like George Clooney, so I think I can pull it off. #fail12
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions or remember the conference room in the Biltmore in DC. Hilarious. You were covered in post-its. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_Dataminer Wish we could just meet up in the business svcs center for some collating like we did in Wichita. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
If you need me, ill be doing my nails. At @aliveandclive's desk. He has better natural light. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions I know what you’re saying. It’s been trippy. Save some of that for me. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
I should #totes be in charge of @Lisas_lions twitter #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Good Thing I Just Got that Bonus, b/c Bail for Third Time Offenders is $15k. Back on That Horse-- What Court Date?? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@SkylerWhite15 @lisas_lions sorry guys, I saved you from yourself. We are not pigs! Plain glaze for everyone. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Putting on a serious pot of soup to ground myself in the world of smells and seasonings. Chicken tastes real. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Anybody up for some @Starbucks? I need a pick me up. Cinnamon dolce latte anyone? Anyone?? #caffeine #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Randy McCormick @RMcCormickk
@FranzLoblow @Dans_dataminers like ma man FRANZIE said. USED TO. wouldya belive how times have changed! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
Work from the beach #weekends #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants I'm not sure that's necessary. Could lower executive compensation small % to cover. Profit margins look good enough #fail12
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1 Dec Morene @Morene4
Sigh, although I will miss @Dans_dataminers charming ways...but better things are now in store for me, I hope. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions I’m getting nowhere. Is there college football on? I need to veg out! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 2, 13:30. They call me insane. Tell me its not "that kind." They're the crazy ones. I goddamn know what a hostile takeover is! #fail12
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Between us OK “scientific,” Objectively: Connie is hotter most guys would say and Lisa is nicer maybe? I don’t know. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Connies plan $ is great for me. Lisas plan better $ for some workers maybe? I don’t know. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions But seriously I know I have to look at it all rational-like Scientific. Probabilty models #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Dans_dataminers Please don't Tell Me I'm going to Miss the Wrestling Match... at Least Wait till I Get Bailed #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Man o man, my headache is back. Can’t you two just wrestle for it? lol #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
@Lisas_lions I don't know how I feel about that. Is this all a game to you? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers Please consider my feelings and my offer, Dan. I was a fool not to say it before. Luv, Lisa #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc If you volunteer to be on the committee that decides who gets laid off because of new high labor costs, sure, maybe. #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers Dan, you have only one choice. Me. You don’t need until tomorrow to decide. Just say Si! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
how am i going to find a new job in this economy!?!??!?!?!?!?!??! FML #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Go foryour Love @Consualtants I'll help Strategize as Soon as I get Out of Here, pick Up some B-12 Vites #drunktank #nauseious #fail12
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers Plus as a VP in our company you’d have few duties. As CEO on your own you’ll be working 24/7 #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
@Dans_dataminers You disappoint us employees. #fail12
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1 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
Not impressed this afternoon. #fail12
1 Dec Sarah @Sarah50743130
@Consualtants @Dans_dataminers No one loves her. Data Miners FOR LIFE #winning #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers My sweet offer just got sweeter. 6 months salary as a signing bonus to you AND retained employees! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants I could be persuaded...if unionizing the company is also on the table, effective immediately. #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers Plus: What’s all this sudden Lisa-Lovey-Dovey? Overnight “I’ve always loved you?” Wake up! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions employees, you’re asking “What’s in it for me?” Zero layoffs! AND deal with dataminers gives us mkt advantage #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants in the takeover of @Dans_dataminers, how many Consualtants are being replaced? I aint leaving this corner office #fail12
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers Dan, Lisa’s crazy! She can’t save your company and she’ll run hers to the ground. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers And Lisa’s Lions will take a 12% pay cut for 3 years so that we can bail out your company. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
ughhhh #whereamI #everythinghurts #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers I’ll love you more than you can imagine, more than @Consualtants can imagine. And . . . #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers I respect your autonomy and your corporation. Please keep both and move into my apartment rent free. #fail12...
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers I love you always have ever since b-school since you barfed in my sink and spent the nite #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers I’ve been up all night with the calculator and I have an offer for you. From the heart. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
It's finally LUNCH TIME! @secretaryjane let's hit #innout please! A cheeseburger for me #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
i'm not going in to work today. i'm not going in to work today. i'm totally going into work today! ughh! #FML #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@JanaSummerz @JimboRee2 furrr surrre! let's meet up at my place, i need signatures. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@Lisas_lions @BettyBetch1 maple bacon glaze donuts?? Yes! This almost makes up for having to come in today. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Morene @Morene4
I don't think I've been happier about getting laid off... sorry Dataminers, @Lisas_lions is where its at! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@secretaryjane I would say go for red and green. They seriously brighten your Holiday spirits. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
Trying to find my way back from across the country...Iowa is GRRREAAT #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc Let's do this: +7.5% pay for jobs on your list. You are VP Facilities 3x your current salary. U return docs. Deal? #fail12
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1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
y do i have to work on a saturday? i'm getting laid off anyways. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Joanne Chen @anhuajc
Brunch time on a Saturday! A little break from work to refuel! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
Loveeeee that we have work today. So bored and restless after my productive morning. Ughhh #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
@shin_sophie HIMYM marathon tonight?!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Hannah Knight @HK123112
Still at the office, but almost done! Can't wait to go home and crash #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
What kind of boss makes you work on a friggen Saturday? It's still football season yo. Crazy @Lisa_Lions. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 2, 10:29. @Dans_dataminers I love the smell of napalm in the morning. #consualtantsordeath #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@shin_sophie: @Lisas_lions @tiarranicolette yes on the donut! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
video conference call in an hour #aintnorestforthewicked #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
This morning is going by so slowly...honestly, all I want to do is #relax and watch some #HowIMetYourMother #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants Menial: custodial, mailroom, commissary, people that make the place go. Living: not working hand to mouth to survive #fail12
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1 Dec Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
just read a study about how unemployment lower's individual's happiness drastically, great. Now where's my coffee? #fail12
1 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
Freaking Saturday finally get to sleep in. Then the person upstairs starts vacuuming and moving furniture around.#fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
@anhuajc I don't want to lose my job either. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@lisas_lions Such an honor to work at your company that cares about emotional well-being of every employee. Touched. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec yang0723 @hhyang0723
Um.. I need my job #fail12 #twitterfiction @Dans_dataminers
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@RMcCormickk Like your style wish I'd been @ ur party! Do you "work" for my "company" the Dataminers by any chance? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
The coffee's kicking in and the tylenol is taking care of last night's excesses and I'm ready to Rock the Street as your CEO #fail12 please?
1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
@Consualtants i can't answer here. but contact me thru my email szalimit121@gmail.com #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Randy McCormick @RMcCormickk
lastnite was incredible. woke up in a ditch with a goat...i think it was a goat at least.. #goodtimes #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Attention All Dan's Dataminers employees! Especially: smart ones! "Help!" How can we turn this thing around? I'm ready to go for it! #fail12
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc I'm listening; keep going. Your generosity is mystifying but I'll follow you. Define "menial." Define "living." #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@SkyeZalimit Good Morning, I'm Consuela. Sorry you got laid off. How much do you know about the plans of @Lisas_lions ? We're hiring #fail12
1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants Its not so much me I'm worried about as much as everyone here. Maybe a living wage for menial employees? #fail12
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@tiarranicolette Maybe could you give @shin_sophie a little pep talk? She could use one, I think. And a maple bacon glazed donut? #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc Where do you want to be in 5 yrs job- & salary-wise? Let's start there I like your initiative. Dream! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc Security is examining your personnel files as I write. How far down this path do we need to go? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
@SkylerWhite15 yes we have to come into work today. but also i'm being laid off my job here at Lisa's Lions. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants Well that's no fun. It's in a safe place for now, where only I can find it. I'm open to negotiations. #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
insomnia always gets the best of me. 5 hours a night of sleep maximum #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions Back salary, Dan? For you there's a big pile of public flogging waiting. Chk yr stats! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
Got a lot of stuff done for Monday. Silver lining to waking up early? #suuuperrrthinlining #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualants @Lisas_lions Hey, if there's real denero going down, isn't there a pile of back salary for us three? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@izzyjameson12 OK, OK, I hear ya. I'm not the greatest presenter. But I'm open to ideas, honestly. How do I take Dataminers back? #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc Rhett, I'm not asking. I'm telling. It'll only take 15min. That means you'll be earning $800/hr. Tell me when done. #fail12
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@bettybetch1 Can you swing by Portentio Donuts on your way in this am and get 4 doz Maple Bacon Glaze for everyone? #pettycash Tks! #fail12
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1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants tempting...but its so interesting. Anyway sleep beckons...my hours are inhuman. #twitterfiction #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@hk123112 Just wait until fiscal year 13-14; bonuses then should be stupendous. A rising tide swamps all boats! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@anniewalk3r Holiday party this year is a mixer where you get to meet the remaining @dans_dataminers people. I hope. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc Rhett, good morning. $200 cash bonus if you'll kindly head back to the office and shred what you found in trash, OK? #fail12
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1 Dec Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@mike_ikes_22 Thanks so much for contacting me. With your good people skills: think you can deliver bad news to people gently? #fail12
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@elachkarkarim What kind of price are you asking on your @Consualtants positions? I could be VERY interested. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@crunchycommie Good question. See if you can take a poll of @Consualtants employees and see how happy they are #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@tiarranicolette Well . . . today's kind of a fight for our survival. Plus you have next Friday off. Turn up the music loud! #fail12
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1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@johnloc83021513 I was up til 4.30am working on something BIG for the Lions, John! #fail12
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1 Dec Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
Heading home after a long night cleaning up @Consualtants...interesting stuff in the trash tonight. #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
RT @tiarranicolette: Love working for @Lisas_lions! Win! Win! Win! #fail12 #twitterfiction [So great to wake up to this today! -Lisa]
1 Dec Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Honestly, @Lisas_lions...I can't believe you're making us work on a SATURDAY. #itstheweekend #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_Lions NET VALUE DROPPED 61 TODAY: employee lawsuit prep draining budgets #FAIL12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
Interns should NOT have to get up this early. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Love working for @Lisas_lions! Win! Win! Win! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Loving my coffee with vanilla creamer that work ran out of yesterday! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
Woke up and started getting ready for work, then realized what day it was. It's Saturday, uh duh. Workaholic much? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
How am I awake right now?? Weekends are for sleeping in. I blame work. #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@laneyjones7 Such a cute name. Now I crave Starbucks peppermint mocha. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
2 more days of #fail12 netprov in #twitterfiction festival. Want to play? http://robwit.net/fail/?page_id=24 … See recap http://robwit.net/fail/?page_id=31 … #elit
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
Not sure what that means #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
damn it feels good to be a gangsta. #twitter fiction #fail12
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
i can never sleep. Get a lot of work done at 4am though! #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
Watching the minutes pass by... Bachelorette season finale tonight. @bettybetch1 do you wanna join? #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
@Lisas_Lions can we please institute casual fridays? You would love my flats. #twitterfiction #fail12 #casualfridays
1 Dec Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@AliveandClive wow. That was you? You took away my only form of sustenance. SUSTENANCE!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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1 Dec annaconda @Annaconda1222
To do list: get Starbucks gold card, order mom's christmas present, cyber monday shopping, update e-harmony prof pic #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
It was Defnitely abuse of Power (also who pulls over a Black Beemer lol #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Dont worry, I havy A Crack lawyer #bringit #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
"No, Oficer, I ws just Cellebrating my bonus, what Whisky" #dui #oopsi #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
P.S. decided to color my hair lighter, thoughts? #twitterfiction #fail12
1 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
Real talk: I might have a thing for hobbits #fail12
1 Dec Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
Such a crazy day at work, late night out to unwind #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Annie Walker @AnnieWalk3r
@Consualtants when is the company holiday party again? It's not going to be postponed bc of this takeover, right? #fail12 #twitterfiction
1 Dec Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Going to bed, have to get up early for work. These voices just won't stop maybe I'll call my doctor later this week #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
Are we doing Secret Santa again this year at the Christmas party? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov annaconda @Annaconda1222
@Lisas_Lions is this office ever going to get a juicer? This carrot isn't going to juice itself. #twitterfail #fail12
30 Nov annaconda @Annaconda1222
@AliveandClive don't touch my birthday cake Clive. #twitterfail #fail12 #communityfridge
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30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
Google contact number. google not searching. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
fun friday activities with cats #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov annaconda @Annaconda1222
Ugly christmas sweaters and holiday punch. Can't wait for @Lisas_Lions Christmas party 2012. #twitterfail #fail12 #christmasofficeparties
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants Yes...fantasy. Right. They said the revolution wouldn't be televised. They never said anything about tweets #fail12
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30 Nov Kali Baumon @troyconkwestppd
@HK123112 o no who invited the row! Run for your lives! #fail12 yawl must be #interns! #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@rhettmcgillyc Don't tempt me or I'll have to rain down hard w some Fantasy Union Busting! #fail12 #twitterfiction http://robwit.nt/fail
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30 Nov Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@Jack_Pollan yeah doesn't it suck. Step it up and pray to God that we don't lose our jobs. #pray #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Hannah Knight @HK123112
@BettyBetch1 My little! How's your internship? #DGsistersforlife #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Kali Baumon @troyconkwestppd
Yo! Eggs! You better get som e Twitter profile pics or els Coach'll be pizzed! LOL #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@dans_dataminers er, yeah -- was there something else in the End-User Agreement I missed?! *gulp* #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
Friday traffic, overwork, and rain, perfect way to start my weekend while anticipating the possibility of loosing my paycheck #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Uh @Lisa_Lions you seem to not only have employees, you have some sort of militia after you??!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jack Pollan @Jack_Pollan
@anhuajc @CONSULTANTS word #fail12
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30 Nov Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@consultants I don't want to be an accountant #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
@ElachkarKarim Hold your shit soldier! @RhettMcGillyC is takin' point outside the FOB, git yer zippos ready ladies. #fail12
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30 Nov Clive Clive @AliveandClive
I want 2 make a confession. I stole @SkylerWhite15 's bagel. It was an "everything" bagel and it made my tongue sing. #twitterfail #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@elachkarkarim Wow, wouldn't that be the turnaround of all turnarounds, if we could buy out the @consualtants! Not likely #fail12
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30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@ElachkarKarim @Consualtants @Dans_dataminers Don't give up, organize and fight the system! #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov K @ElachkarKarim
@Consualtants Willing to sell my Consualtants position to anyone who can give me a good deal? @Dans_dataminers. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@RandyVanVogler Goddammit Vogler, you're right! Fight the system! #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Just called my buddy at work and he doesn't believe that I've been hearing voices #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
@consualtants Oh god no... say this ain't so! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Joanne Chen @anhuajc
@Lindar62601227 I wish I can keep my job as a consultant! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 1, 21:54 HVTs eliminated. RT: Lisas_lions SUFFERS TRAGIC WINDFARM DISASTER SHORTLY AFTER THIS PHOTO WAS SNAPPED. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Joanne Chen @anhuajc
Why am I still at work? I need some sleep...#fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lisas_lions SUFFERS TRAGIC WINDFARM DISASTER SHORTLY AFTER THIS PHOTO WAS SNAPPED. #fail12 #twitterfiction pic.twitter.com/ncttSGh8
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30 Nov Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
@Consualtants I'm a great people person. @Dans_dataminers never saw my true potential. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
Rawrrrrr! Let's go lions!!! "@Lisas_lions: Dear Lisa’s Lions Employees: Nice to meet you! You are awesome! We can win this thing. #fail12"
30 Nov Lindar @alwayshappyour
Omg just ran into some ppl from @dans_dataminers ... Awkward ... #fail12 #Twitter fiction
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@secretaryjane Thanks, Jane! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@SkyeZalimit why ":("? Do we have to come into work tomorrow?? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day 1, 21:06. Night. Boss came around, asking if I had her "package." Need to get a grip. Need smokes. We assault at dawn. #fail12
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@RandyVanVogler Cool it buddy. Wait until the moment is right. We need to organize #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
finally a day off...ZzZz #sweetdreams #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@JimboRee2 yea buddy! more people to sign the petition. #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
Somebody really needs to clean this place up. #janitorpuns #consuelasconsultants #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@DreDancer1 @Consualtants Markets don't provide for us little people. Only the big wigs. #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
My computer was really slow today. Has anyone else installed Bonzai Buddy? It's suposed to help???? #Fail12 #Twitterfiction
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
@Consualtants @Sarah50743130 Oh that's classy, intimidating the people that make your money. Plutocrat. #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
Stay positive @FranzLoblow remember what Joni Mitchell said "Sorrow is so easy to express and yet so hard to tell." #Fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
@Dans_dataminers WHAT! You have got to be kidding me... #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
@HK123112 OMG. I love your hat. #FAIL12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
Please folks, just READ the emails. Am I your Cha Cha? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
I’m thinking we’ll probably be better off in Consuela’s hands, really. But I put it to you. What do you think, Dataminers? #fail12
30 Nov Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
ITS THE WEEKEND, time to forget about this mess and PARTY. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Hannah Knight @HK123112
@Consualtants Why why why? $ spent on the takeover means less for us. It was almost time for promotions...#fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
Counting the minutes till this all goes down.... #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Honestly, I thought this was a game. I am just as duped as you are/were. #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: We’re the tortoise compared to the rabbit. Bet on the tortoise! With the heart of a Lion! Roar tortoises for victory! #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Mike_Ikes_22 Upon acquisition of Dan’s Dataminers a full inventory will be made. The red staplers all better be in our possession. #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
I guess I should say thanks for all your (what I’m assuming has been) hard work. #fail12
30 Nov Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Go lions! MT @Lisas_lions Lions: We’re the long shot in this game, but the smart money is on us! At least the nice money. #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Sarah50743130 Squeaky wheels may get the grease in some organizations, but in mine they get escorted to the door. #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: We’re the long shot in this game (game of, of well, of life I guess) but the smart money is on us! At least the nice money. #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Hey, Dan’s Dataminers folks! Sorry I’ve been such a crummy CEO. I’ve been kind of phoning it in since my whole exgirlfriend thing. #fail12
30 Nov Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
@Consualtants this sounds good, but apparently there's talk of layoffs. How will the market provide for us then? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@SkpperPratt As far as I know Consualtants are not a stakeholder of Twinkies, but I believe @Lisas_lions are. #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: We need to stay focused on our success vision, and we definitely will deal with that odor in the bathroom, @SkylerWhite15 #fail12
30 Nov Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
Phew! Worked ALL day so I could RAGE this weekend. Thank you #corporatelife #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
Now I'm waiting to hear about my job...can't afford this, still wondering how to pay for last month's car accident...#twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Hannah Knight @HK123112
What's all this talk about an acquisition? Ugh...#fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
As an incentive for the rest of you Consualtants, I’m giving @ArloPub a $50k bonus for his work on the ad (tho the ad’s not perfect) #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: As @ManuelaCDomingu states, this is a time of grieving. I’ve hired grief and general-weirdness counselors for next Tuesday. #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@ArloPub I admire your zeal, but threatening Dan’s employees, altho an interesting strategy, has low success percentage #fail12
30 Nov Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
This TV just keeps talking on and on about these new company take overs #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
While the acquisition may cause some short-term inconveniences (Dan’s Dataminers staff) the market will provide in the long run. #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: I’m going to drive over this evening and make sure the Keurig has coffee packets. Thanks @BetyBetch1 for the headsup. #fail12
30 Nov Hannah Knight @HK123112
@Lindar62601227 Wish I was at happy hour with you #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Traffic, office drama, and good food....= exhaustion, exhaustion, and food coma. #goodnighttwitter #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions My offer to Dan, both offers, are still in effect. We will expect an answer on Sunday. #fail12
30 Nov Hannah Knight @HK123112
Just got a call from the manager. Last min project due tomorrow. It's going to be a long night...#fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
You have me to thank for your good salaries and bonuses. Your trust in my leadership means we’ll stay on top. #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Lions: I know this probably comes as a shock to all of you (it certainly has to me) Therefore hereby Friday 12/7 is a paid holiday. #fail12
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@ManuelaCDomingu Yes, we should! My Venti and I would love to meet your little one!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Dear Lisa’s Lions Employees: Nice to meet you! You are awesome! We can win this thing. #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Now that we all know one another it’s my pleasure to continue to light a fire beneath your behinds so we can dominate the space. #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Attention Consualtants Employees! I’m happy to have been informed about your existence. I hope it has been pleasant so far. #fail12
30 Nov Frolo Wolo @frolowolo
Woops! My PMs and AMs got switched! No wonder the office is locked up. #stupidity #fail12
30 Nov Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
About to deliver my wife the bad news. It's okay, we're only expecting triplets. Ivy-league bound triplets... #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@crunchycommie @Dans_dataminers @ComradeCrunch Maybe a little too far? Thinking more along the lines of a lawsuit. Where's legal at? #fail12
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30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@JimboRee2 currently at the library bar looking up southwest flights on my phone #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Wait...DID I HEAR CORRECTLY? What's all this juicy office gossip? #officedrama #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
so which one did you choose? @IzzyJameson12 #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
the coffee is aight tho. u tried sum yet? it tastes like rainforest @Sarah50743130 #twitterfiction #fail12
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30 Nov Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
IT'S THE FREAKIN' WEEKEND! #TGIF #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
so much to invest, so little time... #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
should we invite the other coworkers? i think jana summers said she was into Gandalf. #fail12 #twitterfiction @GiNaSwaggu
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30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@AliveandClive how did you know?? sorry clive, i'll make it up to you! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@ManuelaCDomingu just got the email manuela, conference was moved to monday 10am room B4 #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
also, doing nails. productive night! #weekend #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
looks quiet. maybe put some post-punk on the intercom. television, gang of four. my own personal sound system #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
wonder if new merger means i will have to clean up two office buildings for the price of one #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Rhett McGillycuddy @RhettMcGillyC
about to start another long night cleaning up the crap at the office #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Lindar @alwayshappyour
happy hour celebration! glad to be a consualtant! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
I just love being productive at work #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@secretaryjane You're sweet, but next time u get me store-bought pie 4 my bday, at least make it Costco brand #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Summer Rose @tiarranicolette
TGIF! Caj day at work yaaay! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
finally home after major traffic, time to kick back and watch @vampirediaries omg @Damon_Elena *squeal* #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Clive Clive @AliveandClive
@BettyBetch1 The coffee girl forgot cream + sugar again...can't live this way. P.S.--love ur skirt 2day, u betch. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
@LaneyJones7 not at the moment, but @Lisas_Lions will have new to-do lists for everyone on monday! #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
Looking like a Giants, Niners, and Consualtants kinda year! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Joe Schmoe @schmoejoe91
SCOREBOARD @Consualtants #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@LaneyJones7, Heard you have a maltese, we should hang at PJ's very soon! Introduce our babies to each other ;) #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Just woke up from a glorious nap! Oh shoot I'm still at work... #tootired #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Work is super slow down here... #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
This can NOT be happening. Has anyone seen my keys? Has a silver keychain from Chicago. plz let me know If u find it #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
Too much for one day...this traffic has me in a 3 way tie between going straight to sleep, going to a bar, and going to Vegas. #fail12
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@crunchycommie But seriously. Who else from @Dans_dataminers feels like it's time 2 take back what's ours?We worked 2 hard 4 this BS #fail12
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30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@Dans_dataminers Wow. Way to command the troops. JK. Where did you go to Business school again? Barnum & Bailey's? #Fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Comrade Crunch @crunchycommie
disgruntled employees! Raise your spoons and topple the bourgeois #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Randy McCormick @RMcCormickk
@FranzLoblow gyaddangit i'm new this twitter crud! here we go #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@JanaSummerz read my mind! but i didn't want to hear all the bitchin if i did call out, nah mean? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
I'm already hoarding all the red Swingline staplers. The future looks grim for @Dans_dataminers #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Finally time to go home! #Productive day today. Time for #rushhour traffic...wish I could fly! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
@BettyBetch1 Yeah I noticed Betty. And why do you think the vending machine is out of diet coke? #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
Latest in #FAIL12: The 3 fantasy companies have REAL employees & their gruntles have been dissed #twitterfiction http://robwit.net/fail
30 Nov Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Day1, 16:13. I've been in this damn fox hole for 2 hours. Concrete floor in the mail room was much easier than the mud in 'nam. #fail12
30 Nov Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Just got off work and about to go watch some TV, our new CEO is not the nicest lady around #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
FML FML FML FML FML FML THIS IS THE WORST FRIDAY EVER!!!!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
Achievement of the day = found out who ate my strudel and got compensated double! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@Taylor_Fitz Problem. I forgot to put your Powerpoint on a USB drive. Oops. #internproblems #fail12 #twitterfiction
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30 Nov Dr. Farnsworth @Doc_Farnsworth
Just got a new job as the executive officer of mail distribution! #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Consualtants Did you Like my Ad??? I Know This Company will Be the New Goldman, I'm Just Hoping People will get "Hip" to It #fail12
View conversation
30 Nov Rachel Toualdi @Rachel_Toualdi
When will this day be over? TGIF #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
Presentation in 20. Dub step pump up time. Who's in? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Hey Dans_dataminers: what they said! I’ll get my head straight and get back to you! Stay happy! [reaching for old mgmt textbook] #fail12
30 Nov Sarah @Sarah50743130
All I hear is "blah blah blah" #fail12
30 Nov Sarah @Sarah50743130
No one in leadership is competent. Ugh #fail12
30 Nov Sarah @Sarah50743130
@Consualtants @Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions of course you're running real companies! We're real employees! #fail12
View conversation
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Not to be outdone, I, too will address my beloved employees in a few hrs once I figure out what the bleep to say. Don’t worry! #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Dear Honored Employees of Consualtants. I will give a formal statement here to you all in a few hours. Stay tuned. Stay productive. #fail12
30 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian Looks like #fail12 turned into a financial Ender's Game.
View conversation
30 Nov Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
what's going on @Dans_dataminers?! I show up for work and people keep talking about some game, are we going under? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
The vending machine is out of Diet Coke. I CAN'T. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
Hey @Lisas_lions, you need to get someone to clean the office bathroom. It stinks up in here. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
I guess Sarah is right: RT @sarah50743130: @Lisas_lions @Consualtants you ignorant corporate bastards! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers @Consualtants In a word: YIKES. This would explain all the extra tweets in the #fail12 feed, wouldn’t it? Hello out there?
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions It means, my handsome handsome man, that we thought it was a game but we are running real companies #fail12
30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
Off in two hours. Looking forward to the weekend, but makes me wonder how many Fridays we have left... #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions no way. I’m outraged, I guess. that means . . . ? #fail12
30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@secretaryjane @BettyBetch1 @SkylerWhite15 @Mogul_Mike22 Darn, just saw the tweet, let me join the party next time! #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions They call it “Crowdsourced Executive Leadership Licensing.” They grabbed a slice of our brains. #fail12
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
God, I'm glad to decided to intern for @Lisas_lions instead of @Dans_dataminers. Talk about a #FAIL. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@secretaryjane, Buenas tardes, our PR conference location got changed, check my email ASAP. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions Read it! When we got a free FAIL league, we signed away the rights to our management expertise. #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions Oh, Dan you are such a dear dear boy! I’ll translate the legalese for you: We’re screwed. #fail12
30 Nov Jana Summers fail12 @JanaSummerz
Work on a rainy day? Hell no. I won't go. Who else wishes they had called in sick? #fail12 @GiNaSwaggu
30 Nov Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
@Mogul_Mike22 I feel ya bro. Where's the muscle milk when you need it? #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions F.A.I.L. contract seems like the usual blablabla legalese #fail12
30 Nov Taylor Fitzpatrick @Taylor_Fitz
What's that? The sound of me crushing my presentation. That's what's up. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers @Consualtants Bleep, guys! What did they always tell us? Read the fine print? Well, Read your F.A.I.L. contracts! #fail12
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions Wait! Check to see if you have any record of when we signed up for our F.A.I.L. league 5 yrs ago. #fail12
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@secretaryjane any messages or mail for us lowly interns? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions Something is definitely wrong, wrong, wrong. Just saw a Consualtants ad run on MSNBC!!! w/a pic of me! #fail12
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Time to blast past the 2pm slump! #letsgo #motivation #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers @Consualtants O bleep, guys! I just took delivery on a gross of Lisa’s Lions disc-golf discs!!!! What’s going on? #fail12
30 Nov Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
@Dans_dataminers Thanks for the heads up. I suppose I get to start looking for a new job now? #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Randy Van Vogler @RandyVanVogler
Been hearing over fox news the past couple hours about a real fugazi. Best to grab Betsy 'n a shovel and ride it out #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Package is legal documents on Dan’s Dataminers letterhead detailing Consuela’s buyout!! Sanity, hello? #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions And a delivery guy in a Dan’s Dataminers uniform just handed me a D’sD package. Did I take acid? #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Genuinely SPOOKY! A delivery truck with a big “Dan’s Dataminers” logo just pulled up outside. #fail12
30 Nov Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
whatever its for, im just so glad 2 have a job. i made the right decision 2 give up my dreams & find a stable job #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
No 2:30 in the afternoon feeling for me today! Gotta love that #coffee #liquidenergy #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
@BettyBetch1 right?! It's been so annoying all day! #officeproblems #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
just another ho-hum day at the office #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
I'm so over the copy machine. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Kathi Inman Berens @kathiiberens
Hey, #MLA13, check out the many #twitterfictions competing in 1st-ever Twitterfic Fest: http://blog.twitter.com/2012/11/twitter-fiction-festival-selections.html … Follow funny #FAIL12 & #oul27
View summary
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Consualtants What Does This Mean for our Acquisition?... Ready for some #Web2.0 Strategizing? #fail12 #talktomeconnie
View conversation
30 Nov GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@JimboRee2 HELLZ YES! my gollum impression is oscar worthy! #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Franz Loblow @FranzLoblow
I got mouths to feed man. COMMON @Dans_dataminers #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@SkylerWhite15 scoreeee! Slash we have some major gossiping to do #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
@dans_dataminers still no organic soap in the ladies room...smh #workconditions #startingapetiton #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Skyler White @SkylerWhite15
@laneyjones7 not yet. let's go! need to get out of here asap... work sucks. #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
@skylerwhite15 not to be a creep but did you guys leave for in n out yet?? I'm starvedddd #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
Good Thing I am An Essential Employee, or Else I would be Worried About this Merger… But #Duh #fail12
30 Nov Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
In classic @Dans_dataminers fashion, he brings up "performance reviews" aka "reasons I could fire you". #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Did someone really just leave a half-eaten donut in the break room? #unhygienic #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
apparently i have a meeting w/ the boss at 2pm. hope its nothin bad. maybe its somethin good. possibly a promotion:/ #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
Not enough Protein in the Vending Machine #OfficeBroProblems #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Consualtants We Need to Get Dan's Employees on Our Side for the Takeover… I Recommend Threats. #brainhurricane #fail12
30 Nov Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
it's only been two hours at work, just need to make it to lunch #needaraise #twitterfiction #fail12
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@secretaryjane OMG, you're a lifesaver. Chopped salad, please. Minus the mix-ins and the dressing. #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@voguemagazine @nervomusic @COVERGIRL That awkward moment when my nail polish lasts longer than my employment #sigh #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
@Lisas_lions the Keurig in the break room is out of K-cup packs... Sorry. No coffee today. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sarah @Sarah50743130
Come on, @Dans_dataminers you can't let @Consualtants and @Lisas_lions push you around! #ManUp #fail12
30 Nov Betty Betch @BettyBetch1
So like, why did I decide to intern here again? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
ayy u down to watch the hobbit? @GiNaSwaggu #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
http://goo.gl/Kz43P How Dare He #fail12
View summary
30 Nov Margaret Espinoza @Marg_Espinoza
I want to share a quote during these troubling times. "Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt..." <3 #fail12
30 Nov Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
This is so ridiculous! Am I the only one who feels this angry about @Dans_dataminers ? Tweet @ me! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
about to phone in the order for lunch. what do y'all wanna eat? @bettybetch1 @SkylerWhite15 @Mogul_Mike22 #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@HarvardBiz Thanks for rubbing it in. @Dans_dataminers could use some of your advice. #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers @Lisas_lions Kind of odd. I have a fake-tweeter too @ArloPub claiming to be MY employee. He got the right team! #fail12
30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@Lisas_lions, Having to cope with an unexpected loss of an anticipated pleasure is quite a difficult task. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sarah @Sarah50743130
I need a vacation not termination. #fail12
30 Nov Sarah @Sarah50743130
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants you ignorant corporate bastards! #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@KnowPresent I don't know who you are but that's not bad advice. Do you play a version of the FAIL game too? I DO need help LOL #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Very funny, fake @GeorginaSteves fake Mike_Ikes_22 pretending to be my employees! "Bring me coffee now!" #fail12
30 Nov Jane Porter @secretaryjane
pretty happy with my decision to wear rainboots today #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Feeling plenty weird after last night, you two, but NO it's not me fake-tweeting in our #fail12 hashtag
30 Nov Jimbo Ree @JimboRee2
On my break and I just had some dope ass coffee. mmmm. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Is THIS Some Kind of Joke? Employees Don't Like being Ignored… Esp When theyre As Valuable as This #Stud. #fail12
30 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants So are we three all cool for the next couple of days? I need a chance to mull over Connie's odd offers #fail12
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants I know, right, Connie? Suddenly fake tweeters in our #fail12 tag. It's Gotta be a Dan-style joke. Sorry I got testy before.
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
It's okay @Lisas_lions, you've got it! Your inner portfolio truly does shine! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov GiNa @GiNaSwaggu
we shouldn't have work on rainy days...just sayn #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
Will I lose everything I worked so hard for? The only person I blame right now is you @Dans_dataminers. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
@Dans_dataminers Give Up Now. What's Data, but Zeroes and 1s. You're Zero, and We're #1! #thatsright #gotmycoffee #fail12
30 Nov Unendliche Gegenwart @KnowPresent
@Dans_dataminers I suggest leveraging your core competency in quantitative analysis to do some high frequency trading. #fail12
30 Nov Arlo Robspierre @ArloPub
A Little Late to Work, but I know @consualtants Won't Mind-- We're Going to Crush the Opposition Anyways! #winning #fail12
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Who’s blasting Justin Bieber down the hall? Please. Stop. Is it you @bettybetch1? #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
ughhhhhh i want this day to end. so tired. just wanna go home already. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
@Lisas_lions this roller coaster of ups and downs is cRaZy. Good thing the lions always prevail! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Georgina Stevens @GeorginaSteves
I can't believe what is happening to my job... my life! What is going on @Dans_dataminers?! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
Up Side: maybe we can steal office supplies in the mess of getting bought out. No such thing as too many post-its... #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Mike Ikes @Mike_Ikes_22
Just got called into the boss's office. It's about time @Dans_dataminers noticed all my hard work. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Isabella Jameson @IzzyJameson12
@DreDancer1 Amen. The rain isn't making it any easier...I'm def going to need a drink by 5 #Fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Dre Dancer @DreDancer1
so hard to wake up this morning, off to the last day of work, anyone down to go out after?! #Fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
#fail12 hey that's funny. Whose idea was it to get those fake tweeters out there? LMAO
30 Nov Manuela C. Dominguez @ManuelaCDomingu
@Lisas_lions, Way to start a Friday morning.. somebody ate my last piece of apple strudel I saved for today. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Abby Comes @LaneyJones7
Rainy day. Spilled coffee on my blouse. Now late to work. Greaaaaattt morning. #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Sophie Shin @shin_sophie
Another day at the office…#TGIF! @lisas_lions #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Skye Zalimit @SkyeZalimit
yes friday<3 work's been so exhausting. but im sure itll get better in the future once my passion starts to kick in #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
@SkipperPratt @Consualtants I like to think of myself as an interested 3rd party #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
Fantasy Automated Investors League recap: Lisa & Consuela are bidding for more than just Dan's company. #fail12 #twitterfiction #elit
30 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
Fantasy Automated Investors League (#fail12) enters 3rd day #twitterfiction festival. Time for twists! http://robwit.net/fail
30 Nov Mogul_Mike22 @Mogul_Mike22
Hitin the gym before I hit the office #getSWOL #BroLife #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Rob Wittig @Netprov_RobWit
It's Friday! You're now cordially invited to play along with Mark Marino's & my new netprov: F.A.I.L. #fail12 http://robwit.net/fail/?page_id=24 …
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@lisas_lions Look who's tweeting, novia! At least I'm checking up on my profits! #fail12 #twitterfiction
View conversation
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@consualtants Don't you ever sleep? Jeez-Louise! No wonder you're on the market for a companion. #twitterfiction #fail12
View conversation
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisa_Lions 24-hour global market's a betch, chica! Pero if the coffees too strong, get off the pot! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
FAIL is cruel! You wake up in the middle of the night, glance at iPhone and bam! 63 points gone! #fail12 #twitterfiction
30 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Ay, markets, what's with the 68 point drop?! You know I don't believe in Karma! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers Dan? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers Dan we have to talk! Twee me! Did you read what I twee'd this afternoon? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions 3) I’m hoping I haven’t lost 2 really good friends today. Seacrest out. Bye for now. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions 2) I’m drinking two giant Jack and Cokes #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions 1) I’m taking this whole weirdness under advisement for a 3 day Cooling Off period. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Here’s what happens now, you two: #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers Dan, don’t listen to Connie @Consualtants #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers Dan, dont listen to Lisa! @Lisas_lions #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants What are we in 3rd grade?? Seriously! Is someone going to start throwing bark chips? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants YOU get off this hashtag! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Lisa, get off this hashtag now! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants @Dans_dataminers Oh. Come. ON! Connie, is that the best you can do? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers well . . . points 5 through 1000 are: Would you like to start maybe dating? together? with me? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants Is there a point 5 on your list? Something else, perhaps? I DO have a Twitter acct & HAVE been reading #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants Don’t worry, I would let you wear the pants in the company . . . but this is feeling a really weird. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers 4) I will own 51% of the stock; technically my vote is the tiebreaker, but we’ll aim for consensus #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers 3) We will consult before any change in our team portfolio and vote on any decisions #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers 2) We will continue the FAIL game as before, just with two teams, ours and Lisa’s #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants Not the offer I was expecting. But continue. I’m all ears. Ears and DNA, apparently. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers 1) I’ll give you $45/share for your FAIL fantasy company. I will be CEO you will be COO #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants So I gather. Lay it on me [he said, all the while thinking “This is just a dream, Wake up,Dan!”] #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers And I have an offer to make you. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants . . . thinking . . . and BLURTING . . . have you been doing cognac shots at work all day?! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers I’ve been thinking a lot today . . . as you can read in the feed #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants I’m here flummoxed and flattered and flustered and wondering what the bleep is really going on #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Dans_dataminers Dan, are you a-lurking? Are you in the offing? Are you emergent? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian Note his absence in this love-triangle talk. Is he day trading? Perhaps they're focused on the wrong kind of exchange. #fail12
View conversation
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie, answer me say something for the love of god don’t leave me hanging. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants I have god I have loved Dan ever since b-school adn I didn’t even freaking know it until NOW! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Say, say, say! Don’t hold back on your old Marketeer friend, gal! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Aggggh, Connie, it kills me to say this #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Why the **** not? We’ll still be the Three Marketeers. What can possibly be your objection? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants No, please no Connie! Don't do it. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions . . . and two households, yours and Dan's-&-Mine. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions We will still be friends, all three of us There just will be two FAIL teams, yours and Dan's-&-Mine #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie I’m 100% for real. Please do not get romantic and baby-having-ish with Dan! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions And our babies! Think of it! His looks, my brains! What percentage of your “do not do this” is real? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions No, I’m not confused. Lisa, I’m 100% for real. I think Dan and I will be good together. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Lis, just got here. Oh, I don’t know I’m so confused. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie, you’re freaking me out with your “I want to have Dan’s baby” talk. What percentage is real? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Rob Wittig @Netprov_RobWit
My students were much amused by "FAIL, a netprov" in progress today when I did a mini-presentation. http://robwit.net/fail #fail12
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie, are you around? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
These markets are swinging like my hips! Down 43! Up 43! Oh, poor corazon! #FAIL12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants @Lisas_lions Not to be paranoid but do you notice a few random folks in our lil’ #fail12 hashtag today? #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@ Consualtants OK, I have a serious plan to turn Dans_dataminers around, if not to success, at least to resbectipility #fail12...
29 Nov Reed Gaines @gainesian
@chouxsalad looks like you were right re Dan... But also, looks like Consuela's downfall is not going to be what we expected. #fail12
29 Nov Kathi Inman Berens @kathiiberens
Want a taste of #elit before #MLA13? Check out #FAIL12 #Twitterfiction in progress rt now: 3 investors jockey for $$$ & luv. @consualtants
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions I’ve got a meeting youre freaking me out! meet me here later. don’t freak out lisa #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Nooo We were always the Three Marketeers #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions My brain says no, but my ovaries say go, go, go! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants Geithner’s doing great on Capital Hill. Watch the market jump now! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants No freakin Way! No! No way, Connie! NO! Seriously, NO! DO NOT DO THIS #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Special specificially . . . . I want little DAN Babys! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Nawwww it’s sweet! Awwwwww! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Buh-buh-buh-BABYS!! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzz #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Bayyyyy beeeeeeeez. Leeetle teeeeeensy baaayyyyyy beeeeeeesitas! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Awwwwww. Rully? Awwwwww. Bay beeez. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions All my cousins and my little sister all have kids this year well I LOVED it. Omigod I LOVED IT #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Yeah. Creamed Spinach, Bleagh. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Well . . . you know how I was complaining about doing diaper duty at Thanksgiving? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Well . . . aaaagh! . . . . #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Yeah, sorry I lost it too. [hug] #fail12 #twitterfiction What’s going on, be honest
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions ¿You there, amiga? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Lis, sorry sorry I lost it earlier. I have some time at lunch. You round? Let’s talk. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants [hands over his ears] La la la la la! I cant hear you I can’t hear you! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@dans_dataminers Dan. Um. Did you see what Connie was saying here earlier this a.m.? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
Our #twitterfiction Fantasy Automated Investors League (#fail12) cont. @Lisas_lions confronts @Consualtants! http://robwit.net/fail
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants Markets are WAAAAAY up already on the mere HINT of a Washington budget deal #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants All FAIL-ers gotta root for TreasSec Geithner knocking some sense into Congress this a.m. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants "Wooooooo," as they say "hooooooo!!!" I'm up 19.085 already on the new day! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants My oh my. Some . . . er . . . um . . . interesting FAIL league news overnight. Gulp. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions WRECK?! NOT A GOOD MOVE?! Where do you get off!?! I gotta shower & get to work this is not over #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants I don’t think Dan is a good move 4 u, Connie. We were always the Three Marketeers. Don’t wreck it. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Consualtants Now Dan’s gonna read this I guess. What a freaking romantic I am, right?! #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Oh gawd, Lis. I might actually LIKE HIM LIKE HIM LIKE HIM. I don’t know. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Like I mean do you just like Dan or do you LIKE HIM like him . . . like that? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consulatants I never thought I’d hear you say THAT. You are the most Direct-Drive person I know.#fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Aw, Lis, I don’t know what I want these days. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consulatants I just gotta ask: ARe you like . . . making a move on Dan these days? Do you want to couple up? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Hey, Lis! I had to get a towel or I’ll drop the fone. What’s up? #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Commmme onnnnnnnn, Connie, I know you can write while you run. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie I know you’re on the treadmill right now and I’m sitting on the handlebars and you can read me. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Hey, Connie! Yoo hoo! I have a question before Dan wakes up. #fail12 #twitterfiction
29 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Ouch! This is a rude breakfast: My company value up 66 early last night, then down 122 before dawn. Consolation: big beautyfull moon #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Okay, I could've done without that kick in the quarterly report. #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian BBB B B B B BBB B B B BBB BBB B BBB B BBB B BBB B B B B BBB BBB B BBB BBB BRRrrr #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian If an algo goes rogue, we know what happens. http://tinyurl.com/bqwbcq7 #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Reed Gaines @gainesian
@chouxsalad More like microtempermental, amirite? #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian Macrocosmic gains lie in the microtemporal details. #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Reed Gaines @gainesian
@chouxsalad Duly noted. Right. If there isn't any such thing as "too big to fail" then same goes for "too small to succeed". #fail12
28 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian Dataminers are in for the long (meta)game of "liar's poker". Digging deep with their coltan & capital-infused devices. #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@gainesian I think Dan's bluffing. Dataminers dig deep into trading algos. Speculate beyond daily ripples to deeper undercurrents. #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Reed Gaines @gainesian
Lisa secretly has the right strategy in #fail12 -- Consuela's just making enemies, and Dan is a useful puppet.
28 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
@chouxsalad I like to think of them as instruments of defered credit. #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Which is to say . . . clears throat . . . let's keep focused on the GAME rather than on DAN, OK? LOL #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Meanwhile, if we look back in the actual FAIL game don't fail to notice my NetValue increased 33, per the system autotweet earlier. #Fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Lisa, it’s also so that I can spend more Quality Time with Dan here. If we're in the same company, we can keep company. #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions @Consualtants You guys, I’m right here. I can hear everything you’re saying. #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions Lisa, are you Dan’s spokesmod . . . er . . . um . . . spokesperson now? #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie isn’t that kind of condescending to Dan @Dans_dataminers? He can play the game like a big boy. #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Except that, of course, as always, I am going to totally and completely win. LOL In your collective face! #endzonedance #fail12
28 Nov Stephanie Boluk @chouxsalad
@markcmarino Is it time for more derivative fiction? #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
See? I’m improving the game. Dan gets to joke. Lisa and I get to play business hard core. Everybody wins #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Dan won’t have to do squat in the FAIL game except be his charmy, jokey, regular self, which we love about him. #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Dan won’t be my “employee.” Like a Real Life acquisition he gets big title & salary and won’t have to do squat. #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
What Lisa asked. Times two. #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
But seriously Connie. What’s Dan supposed to “do” if you buy the dataminers? Is he your employee then?? #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
I’m just making a game-changing strategic move. What they taught us in b-school. We could all use a change. #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
I love FAIL too and I totally want to keep playing. Who else can I browbeat like this? lol #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
And for Keynes’ sake let’s not re-re-hash the Bailout of 08. My poor liver can’t take it! #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
What Lisa said. Agree. It feels a little weird, Connie, like you’re squeezing me out of the trio. #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
“Attack” is too strong a word, sorry, but Connie you see what I mean, right? #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants The Much-Debated Bailout of 08 was a co-operative manoeuvre, not a co-mpetitive attack! #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Oh, Come, PWN, you two!! Lighten up! This is not that different from Lisa’s Bailout in Nov of 2008! #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Sheez! I don’t have a rulebook right here, but this kinda breaks the the friendship-rules, not the game-rules, Connie #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions A buyout of Dan’s dataminers is totally within the rules! Read ‘em and weep. #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Connie, taking over Dan’s dataminers kind of breaks the rules doesn’t it? #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Yea Connie seriously what’s the díal? Dan’s dataminers have sucked for years. Why the takeover bid now? #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
I now am offering @Dans_dataminers $43/share for your limp little firm. Seize the día, Dan. #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Connie, let’s talk OK? You and Lisa are my buds! I want to keep playing FAIL! It lights up my dreary días. #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
@briancroxall @dans_dataminers yes, golden parachutes are always in vogue #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
I plan to teach my students to creatively rethink Twitter through #fail12 & #twitterfiction
28 Nov Rob Wittig @Netprov_RobWit
Characters feel more alive than in a paper tale. It's halfway between writing and acting. #fail12 #twitterfiction http://robwit.net/fail
28 Nov Rob Wittig @Netprov_RobWit
I love days like this when there's a living netprov in progress! #fail12 #twitterfiction http://robwit.net/fail Everything's heightened!
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants Whoa, whoa, whoa! I CARE. I’m just not as serious about it as some of you two are. Fun is the operative word, right? #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions No I’m not quitting. I just want it to be a game again, like in the beginning. Dan doesn’t care now and it’s no fun. #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Consualtants Wait, Connie! Are you saying the FAIL league is finished after 5 years? Do you want to quit? I love FAIL! #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Check my assets. They are firm, round, and more than enough for your distressed little company. #fail12 #twitterfiction
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Dan! Snooze = Lose! My offer for Dan’s Dataminers has dropped . . . NOW . . . to $45/share #fail12
28 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
The autoTweets pull in real world conditions into #fail12 -- creating the world of fantasy investing. #twitterfiction http://robwit.net/fail
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
@Lisas_lions, @Dans_dataminers Teaming up against me, eh? It’s never worked in the past! #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
@Dans_dataminers Try CEO Olivia Lum at Hyflux in Singapore as your CEO. She's very impressive. Great stats. #fail12
28 Nov Brian Croxall @briancroxall
@Dans_dataminers Obviously Bob Nardelli. #fail12
View conversation
28 Nov Brian Croxall @briancroxall
RT @markcmarino: #netprov-ers can join in the collab. storytelling of #fail12 starting Friday. Story begins 2morrow http://robwit.net/fail
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Lisas_lions, who do you recommend as my new fantasy CEO? #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
@Consualtants My move: ’ll replace dead Steve Jobs as my fantasy CEO today, finally! That’ll give my earnings a big boooost! #fail12
28 Nov Mark C. Marino @markcmarino
The drama is only getting started in #fail12 #twitterfiction #elit
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Ouch, you two! I’m looking at the bot’ o’ youse with BIG PUPPY DOG EYES. I get it, I’m clueless *laughs* I'll get head back in game #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Boo hoo hoo. You know I love ya, Dan @Dans_dataminers, but you have to pick yourself up and move on. She was not for you. #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Yeah, Dan’s been depressed, Connie. He’s never been the dump-ee before in love, always the dump-er. #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
I get the message, Connie! I’ll get my head back into the game. This fall has just been . . . you know . . . #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
As of . . . NOW . . . my offer for Dan’s Dataminers has dropped to $47/share. Dan: don’t postpone the inevitable. #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
No, Dan’s Dataminers current valuation is at barely $32/share. I’m being insanely generous. #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Besides: As if, Connie! $49/share? After all the time I’ve spent ruining um running this fake company?! ‘sworth 2X that! #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
I know you’ll’ve heard this before, but I’m gonna turn around my profits this quarter! Honest! #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Dan, wake up! Repeating: 1st move of the day: Consualtants will acquire Dans_Dataminers for $49/share. Offer good til end of day #fail12
28 Nov Dan of FAIL12 @Dans_dataminers
Haha, Consuela! I know I’ve been lax about the FAIL game. I’ll pay attention this week, I promise #fail12
28 Nov Lisa of Fail12 @Lisas_lions
Wow, Dan! @Dans_dataminers @Consualtants That’s quite a wake-up call from Connie! HELL-o! #fail12
28 Nov Consuela of fail12 @Consualtants
Hola, buenos dias, 1st move of the day: Consualtants will acquire Dans_Dataminers, whole, for $49/share #fail12 #twitterfiction